Titans, Walls and Pirates?
by DragonlordRynn
Summary: With the Arrival of a Strange Ship, the Titans received a Grim Reminder. Or not so grim. More like... weird. Mankind doesn't know how to deal with this kind of situation.
1. In which there are Pirates and Titans

**Author: Another Crossover, because my mind goes into that place as soon I start reading another Manga. Unlike 'Avenging Pirates' and 'Pirating Avengers', this one isn't even finished on my computer, meaning that if I continue, it will take longer than usual.**

**Anyways, this story is set between Fishman Island and Punk Hazard. So no Law, sadly. But I guess I should give that poor guy a break.  
Enjoy reading and let me know what you think.**

* * *

In which there are Pirates and Titans

It was the early afternoon as Commander Erwin and Captain Levi reached the wall deck of Wall Rose.

"What is it, Pixis?" Erwin asked as his fellow Commander approached them.

"My men have been watching the canal closely. In the later hours of the morning something started to happen there", the bald man stated while jabbing his thumb towards the large canal. It has been there even before the fall of Wall Maria and it ran through all three walls, connecting the inner circle with the outside. Before Maria fell, it has been used to provide transportation from Sina to Maria, but has been closed off at Rose now.

"And what is there for us to see?" Erwin questioned. Levi frowned slightly as he looked into the direction the canal was running. A small forest of giant trees obstructed the view, but he could see thin trails of smoke. "Titan vapour?"

"That's exactly what I've called you here for", Pixis stated, crossing his arms. "That stuff suddenly started appearing in the morning and the trail came closer ever since."

"That would mean that there is somebody out there, following the canal and killing Titans?" Erwin wondered.

"Exactly", Levi mumbled. "Or these idiots just keep falling into the water and drown." His eyes narrowed as suddenly a seven-meter class smashed through the trees, skidded some distance across the floor and started evaporating.

"..."

"..."

"...There was a shoe print on that thing's head..."

"Seriously now?!"

"Yup"

More Titans came flying out of the forest, most of them seriously deformed from what appeared to have been blunt damage, but some clearly have been cut into pieces. Others seemed to have been impaled with... bamboo?

And then, like it was the most normal thing in the world, an extremely colourful and almost ridiculous-looking ship peeled out of the shadows. A giant skull with crossbones and straw hat was boldly imprinted on the first sail and the black flag overhead. A group of Titans was chasing after it.

Somebody started yelling what sounded like orders. Moments later, there were a few figures shooting up the masts and hauling up the sails. The ship slowed down and the chasing Titans came closer.

And suddenly, there was the hum of energy starting to get louder. The soldiers glanced each other, but before either of them could say something, a massive explosion followed.

The men scrambled for cover, realizing in the same moment that the explosion came from the ship's rear. The sheer power of the energy output tore apart the chasing Titans while catapulting the vehicle out of the water. With a startling speed, it _flew _towards Wall Rose. Men dove to the sides, trying to avoid being crushed by the ship. Well, everybody dove except for Captain Levi. Humanity's strongest soldier merely stood there, arms crossed over his chest and face set on deadpan as the massive boat came closer.

It soared over his head, only inches from his body and not touching him the slightest. Without so much as ruffling his hair, the ship started its descent on the wall's other side, landing with a pinpoint accuracy on the canal once more. While everybody stared at the vehicle, Levi marched off, scowling. "I'm not drunk enough to deal with this kind of bullshit."

-o-

The ship hadn't stopped too far away, so the next step was to go there and see what kind of people they were.

Levi, Erwin, Pixis and some of the Garrison approached the ship which was now firmly anchored to the edge of the canal.

"Weeeh! Adventure! Sanji! Make some Bento Boxes, I want to go exploring!"

"Ahhhhh! Luffy! We don't know if there are more of these monsters here!"

"I doubt it. We crossed a wall, and that must have been here for a reason."

"Ahhh! Robin! Don't encourage him!"

A feminine chuckle was the only reply. Erwin cleared his throat, succeeding in getting the crew's attention. Some of them peeked over the rail to look at them.

"I'm Commander Erwin Smith", the man began, "And we bore witness to your... unique escape from the Titans."

"Titans?" a straw hat-wearing young man asked, "These guys were Titans?"

"What else were they supposed to be?" the commander questioned.

The boy shrugged. "Dunno. I thought they were perverted Idiot Giants." He beamed suddenly. "I asked the first four or so whether they wanted to be my Nakama. They tried to eat me. So I just punched them!"

"Punch... A Titan?" A few of the men stared in disbelief at the kid. He couldn't be older than twenty, had short dark hair and an open red vest.

"Shishishi. They were pretty strong, but I'm stronger. I'm Monkey D. Luffy, the man who will become the King of Pirates." He leapt off the rail to stand in front of Erwin, shaking his hand. "You're the Captain of these guys here? Bummer, I wanted to ask you whether you will join my crew. Hey! You aren't with the Marine, are you?"

"Luffy. Give that man a break, will you?" An older man sighed as he jumped down the ship too. He was taller and more muscular than this Luffy, and had shocking _green_ hair. "We just arrived here." His single eye narrowed on the soldiers. "But the question remains, are you guys in the Navy?"

Pixis blinked before answering to that. "We aren't 'Navy'- whatever that is. No, I'm Dot Pixis, Commander of the Wall Garrison. These two are Commanders Erwin and Levi, who lead the Scouting Legion."

"Ah, so that's okay then", Luffy grinned. Levi narrowed his eyes dangerously, most likely because the boy's carefree spirit hurt his own black soul. "Who are you?" Humanity's strongest growled.

"Roronoa Zoro", the green-haired man snapped back. He glared at the short Captain, hands twitching at the hilts of his three katana. "I'm the man who will protect Luffy until he becomes the King."

"Noble attitude", Erwin replied. "It would be polite to get to know the rest of your crew."

"I'm Sanji", a third man answered. He was lean, with a shock of blonde hair and a cigarette between his teeth. He handed the other two a small box each. "Here, I made you guys some Bento."

"Yay! Sanji's Lunch boxes are the best!" a childish voice cheered. The soldiers watched in surprise as a small brown animal came down, hugging his Bento Box tightly.

"Who... or what are you?" a soldier questioned. The animal flinched and turned to the man. "I'm Chopper!" he answered, "I'm going to be the best doctor in the world!"

"Are you... some sort of beaver?"

"I'm a reindeer, you dickhead!"

"Chopper, let's be nice to the people, okay?" A dark-haired woman requested. The reindeer (?) pouted, but complied. "Okay, Robin. I'll try."

The woman chuckled before extending her hand towards Commander Erwin. "I'm Nico Robin, it's nice to meet you."

"R-Robin. Please don't shake hands with those people... they could be cannibals or bounty hunters or-" _thwack_

"Sheesh. Usopp. Stop whining. They look fine to me", an orange-haired young woman said to the long-nosed boy she just knocked to the floor. She was dressed quite provoking- only a bikini top and a pair of jeans. She smirked and turned to the men. "Hi, I'm Nami."

"Don't move", Levi snarled, "Leave your hands where I can see them."

"Huh? Is there a problem?" the girl asked innocently.

"You just tried to pickpocket Commander Pixis", the short Captain growled. "Not on my watch."

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BEAUTIFUL NAMI-SWAN!" the cook suddenly exploded.

"Tch. Shorty's right. That wench can't just go 'round and steal people's money", Zoro grumbled.

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME, MARIMO?!"

"Hah. You aren't even a real foe, swirly brow."

"SAY THAT AGAIN!"

"Sorry. I didn't realize you were just as much of an idiot as those perverts outside. You. Weak. Swirly. Brow."

"I'M NOT AN IDIOT, MARIMO HEAD!"

"Super! Is that going to be a fight?"

"Yohoho! Things are always so lively around here. It makes my heart beat with joy. But I don't have a heart! Yohohoho! Skull joke!" With everybody distracted by the two bickering idiots, they only noticed the last two crew members when they spoke up.

"GYAAAAAAAH!" Most of the men jumped back in horror, jaws dropped to the floor or simply keeling over unconscious. Levi, Erwin and Pixis managed to hold their ground, but even they were more or less freaked out.

The last two men were both almost as tall as three-meter classes. One was a... half-machine guy wearing only a pair of briefs and a colourful open shirt. The other was a tall thin walking and talking _skeleton_.

Levi was the first to overcome his stupor as he cleared his throat and turned to face his men. "This is an order. Keep those newcomers under observation. Make sure they don't cause any trouble until we made sure they aren't a threat to our security."

"..."

"...Uh... Captain?"

"What?" Humanity's strongest snapped, before realizing that the guy was pointing at the crew. Annoyed, Levi whirled back around... only to lock eyes with the dark-haired woman who now stood alone in front of the ship. She chuckled as she merely said "Oh my"

Erwin blinked. "Is... this a usual behaviour of your crew?"

"Normally they're not gone that fast. I guess they really wanted to explore."

Levi sighed again. "I'm not ready for this kind of bullshit", he mumbled before snatching Pixis' flask and draining it in a single gulp. As he went to wipe his mouth with his sleeve, he muttered "Now I'm ready. Everybody! Go and find those idiots! Now!"


	2. In which there are singing Titans

**Author: Okay. I did not expect so much attention for this piece of nonsense. Actually, it started out being serious and dramatic, then I switched the original cast of Law and Kid for the Strawhats.  
And suddenly THIS happened.**

**This chapter was supposed to be longer, but then I decided to cut it to make two chapters. Enjoy the first half.**

**Oh. Beware Mikasa's Foul mouth, but that's thankfully the exception.**

* * *

In which there are singing Titans

"L-Luffy! Do you really think this was a good idea? Those guys l-looked really angry. Especially the s-short one", the long-nosed sniper whispered with a shaking voice.

"Shishishi. Don't worry", his Captain replied.

"DON'T WORRY?! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT SHORT GUY?! HE LOOKED EVEN ANGRIER THAN AN RAGING SEAKING! THE NEXT TIME HE SEES US HE WILL SKIN US ALIVE!"

"Mhm. I think we got lost."

"DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT, IDIOT!" Usopp blinked a few times. "But I guess you're right. Where are we?"

The two pirates surveyed their surrounding. They stood on a field that gently sloped upwards. There was a small forest to the side, some rocks, and birds were flying over their heads.

"Hm. I have no idea", Luffy beamed, "But isn't that exciting?"

"I-It's not... What if th-there are more of t-those Titans?"

"Ah, don't worry Usopp. I can just beat them up."

Like on cue, a loud roar shattered the peaceful silence around them. Usopp almost keeled over to curl into a tight ball, but Luffy wouldn't let him. Excited like a kid on Christmas, the Strawhat Pirate grabbed his Nakama tight on the collar, dragging him along with him as he dashed up the slope to check out the area beyond it.

However, the very moment he set eyes on the scene his expression changed from cheerful to downright _murderous_.

-o-

Mikasa dodged a massive fist thrown at her. She knew she had a severe disadvantage, being on flat ground _and _having to fight this particular strong fifteen-meter class. The Asian girl grit her teeth together, preparing for another dodge as the Titan swung around, fist poised to strike.

"GOMU GOMU NO ELEPHANT GUN!"

A giant black fist appeared out of nowhere, hitting the Titan right into the side of its face and literally sent it flying.

Mikasa stared in dumbfounded shock, watching the fifteen-meter class land way off on the floor, skidding across the ground before stopping. Its body started steaming, showing it was beginning to dissolve.

"Hah! You showed him, Luffy!" A voice shouted above her head. "Take that, you Perverted Idiot Giant!"

Two young men slid down the slope, one wearing a straw hat, the other having an absurdly long nose. The Long-Nose stood now with his fists on his hips, chest puffed out, grinning victorious. "No Giant is able to withstand the Mighty Captain Usopp!" He turned towards the stunned Mikasa. "Don't worry, my fair Lady. You are safe now."

That was when Mikasa exploded. "WHAT HAVE YOU IDIOTS DONE?!" she shouted, making the long-nosed guy cower behind the other, "WE WERE TRAINING! TRAINING I TELL YOU!"

The straw-hatted guy had the decency to blink in surprise. "Training? I thought these guys were all idiots." He blinked again. "I thought he wanted to eat you."

Mikasa snarled, pointing at the steaming Titan. "Do you guys know what you have done? That over there is my brother! You just fucking punched out my brother! Tell me one reason not to flay you alive!"

The Strawhat blinked before blanching. "BROTHER?!" he shrieked, "OH NO! I JUST KNOCKED OUT YOUR BROTHER! SANJI'S GOING TO TAKE AWAY MY MEAT!"

"YOU IDIOT!" the other guy yelled, "YOU JUST KILLED HER BROTHER!"

"AAAAAAH! I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL YOUR BROTHER! USOPP! WE HAVE TO GET CHOPPER!"

"IT'S TOO LATE! YOU KILLED HIM! NOT EVEN CHOPPER CAN DO ANYTHING AGAINST IT!"

Mikasa stared at the scene. She was still pissed, but now there was a headache threatening to add to her anger. Instead of dealing with those two retards, she whipped around and marched towards the steaming carcass. "Armin! What's about Eren?"

"Still alive", another voice answered her. A blonde boy was kneeling a few yards further away from the Titan. The straw-hatted boy relaxed visibly as he noticed that he said 'alive'. He jogged after the scary angry girl to check the situation out. She stopped a few paces away from the blonde boy, looking back over her shoulder. "How the actual... why is Eren here? The Titan is over there", she muttered.

By now the two newcomers had caught up to them, noticing a brunette boy on the floor. His bum was in the air, his cheek on the floor and he was out cold.

"My best answer? It looks like the impact of the punch _knocked him out of_ his Titan."

The girl blinked. "How?!" Slowly, she turned to look at the sheepish grinning guy. "Coming to think of it... was that _your _fist? It must have been the fist of a twenty-meter Titan, if that is enough at all."

The young man suddenly beamed. "Ah, that's because I'm a Rubber Man! I'm Monkey D. Luffy, the Man who will become the King of Pirates. It's nice to meet you."

-OoOoO-

"First I'm going to do the communication tests", Hanji ticked off her fingers. "Then we are going to go over to regeneration of organs... well, those Titans still have. Then we'll do lunch break, then we continue with a simple recognition test. Got all that?"

"What do you want for lunch, commander?" Moblit asked matter-of-factly as he jotted down notes.

"Uhm... How about stale bread and some sort of goop they found in the sewers?" Hanji suggested with a shrug. "Oh wait. That's what we're getting every day."

Moblit chuckled slightly, despite the internal feeling that things were going awry soon. When his Commander was this excited, their experiments normally backfired.

"Commander!" Another soldier suddenly called out. "There is somebody close to the subjects!"

At this, Hanji's head snapped up, eyes narrowed. "Military?"

"No uniform, Ma'am. It's either one off-duty or a civilian."

"You can't judge people to be interested in my babies", the scientist shrugged.

"Uh, Ma'am. I can't remember anybody that tall..." The man frowned. "Also, he's yelling at the subjects."

"What?! Nobody yells at my babies!"

Without caring about her subordinates, the Commander dashed down the staircase to reach the closed-off courtyard the two Titans were in. She halted in her tracks, catching her breath as she noticed somebody in front of her 'babies'. The first thing that met her eye was the seriously mismatching outfit he wore. Black shoes and a black suit jacket, combined with narrow red, floral-printed pants and a completely oversized orange feather boa. A large golden crown was perched atop a massive afro hairstyle. He was slightly hunched over because he was in the process of shouting at her poor Bean, but it was still evident that he was way taller than anybody she had ever seen before. He stood nine feet at least.

This didn't stop the overzealous researcher from marching right up to him though.

"Hey! Why are you yelling at my babies?! Oooooh! Poor Bean! Did that meanie kick you?"

"You can't expect me to react any differently! First they were watching me like I was the most tasty thing they had ever seen, and suddenly they look away all disappointed!" the man answered, his voice dropping as he seethed. "Bones are very nutritious, you know?!"

Hanji thought for a moment about that. "I haven't thought about that, you know? But my babies prefer juicy people over skinny skeletons..." Realization sunk in as she finally became aware that she was, indeed, talking to a skeleton.

"Tch", the dead man grumbled, arms crossed. "Podgy as they are, they should be grateful for something healthier."

Hanji blinked dumbfounded. "Uh..." she finally began, "Excuse me, but are you... really a skeleton?"

"How impolite of me!" the skeleton wailed as he whirled around to face Hanji and, to an extent, her subordinates as well. The soldiers blanched notably and most of them fainted or simply began screaming as the bone man let out a chilling 'Yohohohoho'.

"My name is Brook", the Undead began, bowing at the hip. "I'm known as 'The Soul King'."

"GYAAAAAAAAH! COMMANDER! GET AWAY FROM THAT THING!"

Hanji, however, ignored the begging of her men as she shook the outstretched bony hand with so much enthusiasm she only showed when she gets new Titans.

"This is so interesting!" she exclaimed, "I'm Hanji Zoë! How can you talk? You don't have even lungs or lips!"

"I'm not really sure", Brook answered politely. "More important however, might I see your panties?"

"Don't ask such obscene questions!" Moblit suddenly interjected.

"I'm not wearing panties, you know? I prefer man's briefs. They're much more comfortable."

"And you don't answer such obscene questions, Commander!"

"Anyways", Brook continued, blatantly ignoring the Second-in-Command, "You called these... uh... sorry for saying that, these absolute retards 'Your Babies'... is there anything you wish to add?"

"Oooh no. They aren't really mine. I just adopted them, you know? The smaller one is Sonny, the bigger one is Bean! I study them!"

"So you are a scientist?"

"I am! The best there is!" Hanji threw back her head and puffed out her chest. "But I would like to know, what are you doing? I mean other than being a living skeleton?"

Brook laughed merrily. "I'm a musician", he explained, "I was the best-selling musician in the entire Sabaody Archipelago!"

"...Musician?"

At this, Brook only continued laughing as he whipped out his violin, starting to screech off a few tunes.

Two hours later Mike came in search for Hanji. She had to hand in a few reports, and she still hadn't done so. So he came to check what she was doing.

That crazy hag was most likely playing around with her two pet monsters.

_Yo-hohoho, Yohohohoo,  
Going to deliver Binks' Sake!  
Following the sea breeze! Riding on the waves!  
Far across the salty depths! The merry evening sun!  
The birds sing as they draw circles in the sky!_

Mike stopped dead in his tracks. Was that... singing?

_Farewell to the harbour, To my old hometown  
Lets all sing out with a Don! As the ship sets sail  
Waves of gold and silver dissolve to salty spray  
As we all set sail to the ends of the sea_

It _was _singing.

Well, better than complete silence.

Or screaming.

_Going to deliver Binks' Sake!  
We are pirates sailing through the Sea!  
The waves are our pillows, The ship our roost  
Flying the proud skull on our flags and our sails_

With a determined face, Mike marched forwards. The singing became louder and the distinct sound of a violin was added to it as well.

_Now comes a storm through the far-off sky  
Now the waves are dancing, Beat upon the drums  
If you lose your nerve this breath could be your last  
But if you just hold on, The morning sun will rise_

Just as he rounded the corner, he stopped again in his steps, eyes wide in surprise. Hanji's entire squad sat around, swaying their bodies to the tact of the music. Hanji herself was next to Moblit. Both had one arm around each other's shoulder, dancing. A tall thin _skeleton _stood at the rear, playing a violin and singing along with the entire group.

Even the two Titans in the background were rocking back and forth, as far their bonds allowed them, and silently howling with the music.

When the soldiers continued with an enthusiastic '_Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho', _Mike turned around and walked away.

-OoOoO-

"Okay. We'll try it together. She has to have a limit."

"A-Are you sure?"

"Sure! She can't take us both!"

"Are you just talking or are you going to do something?"

"Attacking, of course! C'mon, we can take her!"

"O-Okay"

_*TWACK*  
*TWACK*  
*WHUMP*  
*OOF*_

"You were saying?"

Reiner and Bertolt said nothing, aside from some pained/frustrated grunts as they glared at the petite blonde who just simply knocked the two boys flat on their backs in mere seconds. No matter how they attempted to take their friend down, Annie always came out unscathed and the two guys on the floor.

"How are you doing this?" Reiner groaned, "I mean, I am double your weight, Bertl is double your size and you still manage to flip us like we are nothing."

"You know perfectly fine I spent most of my youth training", the blonde deadpanned.

Reiner grumbled as he and Bertolt climbed back to their feet to continue the training session. However, in that moment a man walked past them, frowned at the surrounding and marched off towards the woods.

"Who was that?" Reiner wondered.

"No idea", Annie replied, "I have never seen him around here."

"Did he have green hair?" Bertolt asked.

His muscular friend shrugged before they decided to forget the meeting and continue their hand-to-hand training.

Ten minutes later, the man reappeared. Again, he frowned at a particular tree, then turned to walk towards the barracks this time.

Fifteen minutes later, he was back once more, and this time he growled angrily. "Damn! I know this tree from somewhere!"

"That's because you've been here already two times!" the short blonde told him. The man watched her with a startled expression.

"Really?"

"Really"

"Damn... I'm looking for the mess hall."

"Oh, that's no problem", Bertolt explained. "Just walk down that road over there. At the second junction, keep left, then you should be able to see the building."

The man shrugged. "Thanks for telling me."

He ran off.

The three watched him in silence until Reiner asked: "He just walked into the wrong direction, did he?"

Twenty minutes later, and the man was back again.

And he was angry. He turned to Bertolt, shouting. "You gave me the wrong directions! I got lost because of them!" The tall young man shrunk back, excusing himself over and over again. Annie and Reiner, sensing their friend's approaching panic attack, intervened and stood between the green-haired man and the tall boy.

"If you got lost, then it is not Bertolt's fault", Reiner growled.

"It's because you are an idiot", Annie added.

The man froze for a moment before turning his now murderous glare at the short girl.

"You said something, Blondie?!"

Annie stood there without being intimidated, eyes narrowed likewise. "I said you are an idiot. You can't even find a simple mess hall when all you had to do was to go down a street, then turn left."

"See?! Those directions are horribly complicated! I can't go 'down' this street! There are no stairs!"

The three blinked. Reiner furrowed his brows. "Wait... you say 'going down' means literally 'down'?"

The man glared at him. "Of course it does, what else does it mean?"

Reiner glanced at his two friends. "Okay, I guess we see your problem." He thought for a moment. "We'll go with you."

"Huh?"

"We're hungry too, so we'll accompany you to the Mess Hall", the large blonde said. "But before that..."

He scooped up the small blonde and hoisted her up on the other guy's shoulders. After a shocked moment of silence, both started shouting at him. Reiner merely lifted his hands in defence. "I just thought it might be the best way to help you. You know, Annie weighs almost nothing. You won't even realize she's there- unless you run her into a door frame or something."

The man blinked, obviously thinking that this was an actually good idea. Annie, however was still snarling at her friends, her fierce blue eyes promising a lot of butt-hurt once she got off the green-haired dude.

Reiner grinned at her. "See it that way, Annie. You can beat that guy and pull him on the ears when he does the wrong turn." Before she could answer, the blonde already turned to walk away. "Okay, let's go!"

Bertolt smiled awkwardly at the duo before following his friend. The green-haired man merely shrugged, ignoring the girl perched on his shoulders and walked after them.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"WHAT?!"

"You just took a wrong turn, idiot."


	3. In which there are too many tears

**Author: Okay... Random. I have no idea how this happened. Oh wait. **

**One Piece happened.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

In which there are too many tears, too much snot and not enough booze

Erwin felt the mother of all headaches marching right up to him. He was glad he left the last Pirate under Levi's care. He had more important things to do. Those reports don't write themselves.

He opened the door to his secretary's office. The lady still wasn't there. Her father got sick just the other day so Erwin allowed her to stay at home and take care of him. The door to _his_ office was open, though.

With his eyes narrowed, Erwin stepped closer. He knew he locked his door before heading out to Pixis. Now it was open.

And nobody else has a key.

With determination written on his face, Erwin barged right through the door, only to see the startled eyes of the orange-haired Pirate girl. Nami, wasn't it?

"You?"

"OH! I'm so sorry! So Sorry!" she wailed, "I kind of got lost and then I found your maps- and they're pretty accurate- I couldn't help myself but look at them."

Something in Erwin's mind told him to tread carefully, that something was not right, but he quickly found himself distracted by the generous cleavage the woman shoved into his line of vision as she bend over the table to get a better look at the map.

The Commander swallowed hard, trying to focus his attention to what she was pointing at. _Is she doing that on purpose?_ He thought.

"You see? That area over there, it's a mountain range, right? It's close to your second wall, too, so why don't you try building a Hideout there? I'm pretty sure those huge retards are too idiotic to climb into such territory."

That sounded like a good plan, actually. Plus, they might be able to mine some metal from the bedrock, as well.

"Also", the pirate girl continued, "I would love to meet whoever made these maps. They are really good."

Erwin shrugged. "Well, I could contact him and make that happen."

Nami's eyes sparkled. "Oh! That would be grand! Thank you _so_ very much!"

The Commander scratched the back of his head. "Eh... you're welcome?"

"See you around, Erwin-san", the Pirate purred as she headed for the door. The way she said his name made the Commander feel suddenly much too hot.

That was until the _click _of his door brought his thoughts back to the question he wanted to ask her.

How the actual Hell did she manage to enter his locked office?!

A foreboding feeling made its way into his mind as he stepped towards the still-locked safe mounted into the wall.

It was empty.

And all of a sudden Erwin realized that this Orange-haired witch broke into his office to rob him blind. When he caught her, she acted like the innocence in person.

With a growl, the Commander whipped around and stormed out of his office. With too much force, he ripped open the outer door, turning to a soldier who stood guard outside.

"Where did that orange-haired woman go?"

"Orange-haired woman, Commander?"

"Don't play dumb with me, soldier! She just left my office!"

The man blinked. "There was no woman, Commander."

"What?!" Erwin threw a glance back into the office of his secretary. There was only a small ventilator shaft (too small even for a cat), but no window.

"She must have left through this door!" the blonde man barked.

"But sir! I was here the whole time! Nobody left!"

The Commander froze, staring at his man. "She was there", he finally mumbled.

The soldier put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "There, there Commander. I can only guess that the day was pretty rough when you're seeing orange-haired girls already."

-OoOoO-

"Where are Mikasa and Armin?" Connie asked while taking a break from the training. Jean scoffed. "They're with Eren. Training those Freaky powers of his. Damn, he gets on my nerves."

"Hey, don't be so mean", Sasha threw in, "They tried to have that poor guy executed."

"Tch"

"Hey", somebody else threw in. "Did you hear? They say there was a boat flying over Wall Rose!"

"A boat? Was it thrown by some Titan?"

"No! My buddy in the Garrison says it came in flying!"

"Oi! The Sunny is a _ship_, not a boat!"

"Okay, where is the differenceeeeeeee-?!"

Everybody on the field turned, staring at the...Half-Machine-Man wearing only swimming trunks and a Hawaii Shirt.

"...Are you a Titan?" Sasha asked carefully.

"Titan?" The man laughed, "No! I'm a Cyborg!"

"Cyborg?"

"Half Man, Half Robot!"

"So you're a..."

"ROBOT! THIS IS SO COOL!"

"..."

"...What is a robot anyways?"

"Well, I am!"

"COOOOOOOOL!"

About every male Scout was watching the Half-Machine Man with sparkling eyes, while every single female just stared at him with indifference.

"Of course I'm cool! I'm Franky and that means I'm SUPERRRRR!" the Cyborg shouted, striking his trademark pose. Males of all ages were hopelessly lost as their minds spiralled out of control. Some even frothed at the mouth, passing out. The female's reaction was a general blank facial expression.

A few moments later Franky lifted his shades, eyeing the scouts in front of him. "I noticed those things earlier", he began, pointing his giant robot fingers at the sheaths the kids wore at their hips, "But what exactly are these?"

"Those are the storage units for our spare blades", Sasha explained to him, since her male team mates were unable to do so. "We use these in combination with our Three-Dimensional Manoeuvre Gear to slay Titans."

"Ah! Those huge retards? May I see?"

The brunette girl shrugged. "Sure" She handed the Cyborg her Gear. Franky turned it over a few times and pulled out a cable.

"Au! I understand. You shoot out these grappling hooks, propel yourselves with the gas and swing around like a mad monkey on a vine. Not bad."

"Uh... that's the gist of it..."

"I gotta Idea!" the large machine man grinned as he pulled out a small screwdriver. When he popped out two smaller hands from his giant mechanical ones, more shouts of "SOO COOOOL" echoed over the field. The Strawhat Pirate simply tinkered for a few moments, then handed the Gears back to Sasha.

"Go on, try it out. I promise it'll be SUPER."

The brunette girl frowned as she placed the Gears back.

"I guess", she began as she aimed the hooks at the trees. "I can take it for a spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-" With a nearly ear-splitting shriek, the huntress vanished in the thick of the foliage.

"Woah!" Connie exclaimed, "That was fast! Dude!"

"Holy Mother of Sina!" Jean gasped, turning to Franky. "What have you done?"

"Just tweaked the propelling device a bit. It isn't inside at the right angle, but now it is."

Wild laughter appeared as Sasha arrived back at the scene. Branches and leaves stuck from her now messy pony tail in all directions, but the girl had a massive grin on her face. "That was the most awesome thing I've done in a while!"

"See?" Franky explained satisfied, "A simple modification and bam- your Gears are now much more efficient."

The scouts looked at each other, silently discussing with each other. Until all of them turned back to Franky and handed him their equipments. "Do ours too!"

-OoOoO-

"Weird..."

"What is it, Ymir?"

"Ain't you hearing that, Christa? I think I'm hearing people screaming... No... laughing?"

The small blonde looked into the direction her freckled friend pointed at. "I can't really hear anything", she admitted, "But isn't that the direction of the training grounds?"

"Yeah, and I think I've heard Eren roar some time before", the tall girl shrugged. "Must be my imagination."

"But the guy with the green hair was most likely not your imagination. I've seen him too"

"Yeah. Looked like he was lost. Poor dude."

Christa smiled a bit at her friend's obvious I-don't-care-shit-about-that-guy-expression when a twig snapped right behind her. With a shriek, she dove right behind the taller girl. At the same time, somebody else screamed. The sound of feet on foliage-covered ground made it obvious that the other also scrambled to hide somewhere. It all happened within a few moments, so Ymir was left standing like an idiot with Christa hiding behind her. That is until she realized where the other guy was.

It was... some sort of small animal wearing a set of pants and a sleeveless shirt. It stood, cowering at the foot of a large tree, staring at the two girls with huge watery eyes.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...You do know I can still see you, right? You're hiding the wrong way", the freckled girl pointed out, referring to the creature's way of ineffectively hiding only half its face behind the plant. The little animal flinched before adjusting its body accordingly to vanish almost completely.

"See? That's better", the freckled girl explained. She paused for a moment until she finally realized that she was talking to some sort of weird living plush doll.

While Ymir stood there, blinking in confusion and ignoring Christa's whispered 'It's cute, but what is it?' the creature stared back, recognition evident in its large eyes.

And suddenly, it charged. With a speed far faster than either of the girls expected, it launched its small body over the distance of several yards, wrapping its hoofed hands and feet around Ymir's head, thus clinging tightly to her. Taken aback, the freckled girl stumbled backwards, trying to catch her balance. However, Christa was still behind her so instead of remaining upright, Ymir tripped over her small friend and fell with the grace of a sack of potatoes to the floor, hitting her butt hard on the muddy ground.

Altering between groaning in pain and swearing worse than a seaman, Ymir tried to tug the creature off her face. Christa, after overcoming her shocked stupor, immediately went to her feet and tried assisting the taller girl. However, even with the combined strength of both, it was nearly impossible to loosen the furry animal's hold on her head.

Maybe it was the sheer amount of tears and snot running from its face that made it hard to hold on, because ever since it jumped, the creature was crying its eyes out. Christa stopped her efforts when she heard between sobs and bawling a distinct "Aceeeeeeeeee!"

"Ace?" Christa blinked "Who's Ace?"

"Aceeee!" The little animal bawled again, "I've heard you've died! I was so sad for Luffy, because I knew he loved you!" *sob* "And I was also sad because I've met you in Alabasta and you were such a cool guy!" *sob* *sniff* "I'm so happy you are still alive!"

"I'm not Ace, you stupid beaver!" Ymir shouted, despite having her mouth full of fur, "Let me go! I'm Ymir!"

In an instant, all tears and snot had stopped and the little guy blinked in surprise. "Huh? You're not Ace?"

"No!" the taller girl roared, doubling her efforts to rip the creature off her face. Christa helped her again by wrapping her arms around the animal's midriff and gently pulling it off. This time, it let go without any problems. While Ymir was still spitting curses and hairballs, the small blonde took a few steps away, looking down at the creature.

"Who- or what- are you?"

The animal blinked before twisting to look up at the girl. "I'm Chopper", he answered, "And I'm a reindeer."

"Deer?" the short girl blinked, "But deer don't look..."

"Whatever", Ymir grunted as she glared daggers at the small guy, "What was that just now?"

"I'm sorry", Chopper admitted as he hung his head. "I just mistook you for somebody I knew."

"Pfeh!" The tall freckled girl snorted and got up. "I'm gonna grab a bite to eat. Your stupid fur made my throat itch."

"Ah, don't mind her", Christa giggled slightly as she went after her friend while patting the reindeer's hat. "She just can't deal with people. How about we go eating too and you tell me everything about this Ace person?"

"Sounds good!" Chopper cheered, "What's your name anyways?"

"Oh, I'm Christa Lenz. It's nice to meet you."

-OoOoO-

Sanji was stalking down a street, wondering where he should go. A foul odour, a stench like he only smelled when Luffy was in his kitchen, eventually showed him the way. His destination was a large, one-story building. The sign 'Mess Hall' hung over the door and Sanji actually discovered himself playing with the thought of simply continuing the way and ignoring whoever was inside there, preparing toxic waste. But then his pride as a cook welled up inside him and he firmly marched inside. He quickly walked past the dozen or so tables until he reached the door to the kitchen. After steeling his nerves of what was to come, he kicked down the obstacle, marching right in.

The cook jumped back in shock as a lean young blonde man broke down his door and stomped towards him. He eyed the big pot, nose scrunched together in disgust.

"That is food you're serving your soldiers?" he growled.

A critic. Wonderful. The cook snorted and stemmed his hands into his hips, glaring at the intruder. "Listen here, young man! I have cooked these people's meals ever since before you have been born! Don't tell me how to make my job!"

"You're doing a horrid job, then", Sanji snapped back, "Why aren't you cooking something other than this sewer waste?"

"Because this is what is fast and easy to make with all this food rationing going on!"

The Pirate Cook snorted. "Then let me show you how to make a real meal despite the rationing." He looked into the large pot. "And I'm going to begin making something edible out of this stuff here."

-oOo-

Reiner and Bertolt were the first ones to arrive at the Mess Hall. While the blonde plopped down into his designated seat, the tall one stopped and looked back at the entrance. "Annie's not here yet"

"Oh man. That Mosshead Guy must have gotten her lost", Reiner mumbled. "Ah, don't worry Bertl. That little lady knows how to get that guy to move."

"If you say so"

The next ones to arrive were Ymir and Christa. The freckled girl was wearing a heavy scowl while the smaller girl carried a sort of plush doll with her. The doll was happily chatting away, so it was actually alive?

Okay... Weird.

Before they could ask, the door was thrown open once more and the large group of Commander Hanji filtered inside, still singing something that sounded like a seaman's chanty. An impossible tall, impossibly _alive skeleton_ followed after them, playing a violin and laughing merrily. As soon it noticed Christa, it bowed down to her, asking her for her panties. This earned it a hard punch to the skull, curtsey of Ymir. (And no. Ymir did totally _not _scream like a deranged pig. That was a skeleton. Nobody screams just because there's a pervy skeleton. At least that's what she kept saying after that day.)

An angry shouting was the next, so now finally their lost friend returned. Annie was still perched on top of the Swordsman's shoulders, pulling and tearing at his hair to make him move into the correct direction.

The swordsman himself kept shouting back, so neither noticed the door frame coming closer until the unfortunate girl found her face colliding with the wood. The impact was strong enough to send her tumbling down. After a shocked moment later, she continued swearing, worse this time while clutching her bleeding nose. Thankfully, Christa's small plush doll ran over to her, checking and vetting her face.

After that, Bertolt and Reiner inched away from their now really angry short friend.

Luckily, the arrival of the scouts-in-training kind of pulled her attention away from any possible maiming of her friends. Every single of the kids looked worse than the one before. Leaves, twigs and small animals stuck to their bodies in such a way Captain Levi would surely suffer a mental breakdown. However, they were laughing happily, chatting amongst each other and with a tall Robot Man.

Captain Levi and Dot Pixis arrived next, followed by a dark-haired and an orange-haired woman. At the state of the scouts, Levi merely raised an eyebrow, but forced himself to stay calm. Even despite the spider's web sticking in Sasha's Ponytail.

Erwin arrived next, glaring darkly at the orange-haired woman who simply proceeded with sticking her tongue out at him while sitting down next to the Swordsman. Erwin growled, but said nothing.

Mikasa, Armin and Eren arrived last, accompanied by two dark-haired young men.

The one with the straw hat suddenly fell silent for a moment before his eyes bulged out of their sockets. With a loud "ACCCCEEEEEEE!" he lunged towards Ymir, slamming her into the table next. "ACE! ACE! OH! I THOUGHT YOU DIEEEDDD!" the boy started wailing, tears coming out of his eyes.

"HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE, I'M NOT ACE!" Ymir shouted back. The strawhatted boy blinked and stared at the angry freckled girl for a good minute.

Eventually, he let go of her, bowing his head in apology. "I'm so sorry", he sniffed, "But I thought you were my brother." Tears began rolling again as he whimpered a pathetic 'Aceeeeeeee'.

Sobs from his side made him look at Christa, who was now also crying. "I'm sorry", she whined, "I'm sorry for what happened to your brother!" *sob* "Chopper told me what happened, and I wish I could help you"

Luffy looked at her and before anybody realized what happened, the entire room was in tears. Usopp, Chopper, Franky and Brook were crying because their Captain did. Almost all of the scouts were crying because either a) Christa did, or b) everybody else did. Mikasa, who sat between the bawling Eren and Armin, stared wide-eyed at Annie, who was in a similar situation between Reiner and Bertolt. Levi clenched his teeth together, Erwin slammed his head against the table, Nami massaged her forehead in annoyance, Robin chuckled and Zoro slept.

"Oi oi" A voice came from the kitchen, "What is going on here?"

Sanji, the slim Pirate chef stood in the doorway, holding a large pot. "Stop this crying and get ready. Lunch's finished."

A few of the scouts swallowed hard before helping the chef hand out the dishes. As soon everybody had a plate, they dug in.

And suddenly silence settled over the crowd.

Nobody moved.

Nobody said a word.

Until Connie broke the silence. "This food is the best I've ever eaten" He took another bite, swallowing. "It's so good I think I gotta cry!"

And suddenly, the mess hall broke down in tears once more, even while wolfing down the delicious food.

Levi groaned before reaching for Pixis' flask. He took a deep swig, then handed it over to Erwin, who emptied it.

"I guess I'll go and wash the dishes", Humanity's strongest mumbled. "Then I'm going to clean up all those tears and snot."

"And I'll go and try to superglue the Legion's dignity back together", Erwin replied. He watched Hanji bawling out her eyes. "On the other hand... It's way past the stage of Superglue by now. Might I help you with the dishes?"

"Be my guest", Levi grumbled.

As it was discovered later, Mike was actually the smartest of the commanders. After the incident with the singing skeleton, he retired early to his quarters, curled up under his blankets and spent the day sleeping.

Clever Bastard.


	4. In which Pirates are going for a Trip

**Author: I did mention I wanted to make this Fanfic more serious, didn't I?  
But then One Piece happened. *sigh*  
I wish I was able to write at least one more serious One Piece Fanfic, but it appears it is impossible.**

**I also added some random Scouts who are not going to die. I took some liberties changing the outcome of the 57th Expedition.**

**Please enjoy reading this chapter here and don't forget to let me know how you liked it.**

* * *

In which Pirates are going for a Trip

Several Days have already passed since the strange ship arrived. Those so-called 'Pirates' spend most of their time fooling around near the Sunny. A part of Levi wondered why the hell they still allowed them around, and another questioned whether those idiots really slaughtered all those Titans when they arrived. Still, he let his soldiers keep their eyes on those guys, especially when he was going to leave the walls to head out for the 57th Expedition.

This is why he was now busy preparing his horse, until he was interrupted by the straw hat-wearing pirate captain.

"What'cha doing there?" he asked innocently.

Levi exhaled coldly. "I'm preparing my horse. We are going for an expedition."

"Really?" Luffy's eyes started glowing, "So, you're going on an adventure?"

"Adven-NO!" Levi snapped, "This is an important mission, you airhead!"

"Sanji! Make us Bento Boxes! We're going with Shorty and the others outside for an adventure!"

"Did you just listen to me?!"

"Ah, Captain-san, I would like to stay here a while longer. It would be nice to have Nami and Usopp as company."

"Okay, do that, Robin."

"Thank you."

Being utterly ignored, Levi sighed in resignation. "Fine, do whatever you want." He patted his pocket, where he stashed Pixis' freshly refilled flask. "I guess it's just you an me again, huh?"

Not much later, the group set out. Most of the pirates accompanied them, eager to find something new to do.

The Pirates rode the spare horses, with the sole exception of Chopper and Franky. The Crew's Doctor simply shifted into a more reindeer-like shape, galloping along next to Hanji, who couldn't stop asking questions. The Shipwright had extended chain tracks from his shins and was comfortably driving with the horses.

That was until Erwin gave the order to split up. Luffy, despite not understanding the tactical reason behind this, still followed the Commander.

"Make sure those Perverted Idiot Giants don't mess up our new friends", he instructed, sounding serious all of a sudden. His crew nodded in understanding, each following another group.

"Is that okay, splitting up I mean?" Hanji asked as soon the others were out of sight.

Chopper nodded, smiling brightly. "That means that Luffy trusts us. He knows we can protect you against the Titans and we are going to do everything in our power to not disappoint him."

-oOo-

**Team Sanji**

"Titans incoming!" Sasha shouted, "Three ten-meter classes, coming from the east!"

"Smoke signal clear", Mikasa replied, "Any Deviants?"

"There are none at the moment, but there are one fifteen-meter class and some seven-meter classes coming!" Maria Ross, a senior Scout, answered.

"Get ready! We're on flat ground, but we have to defend ourselves!" the Asian girl ordered.

"Don't worry", the Pirate chef claimed, "I will take them out."

"You on your own?" Jim, another Scout asked, "Sorry, but you don't even have any Gears, let alone any training in combat with Titans!"

Sanji arched his swirly eyebrow and took a drag from his ever-present cigarette. "I am acting under my Captain's orders. So there is nothing you can do about it."

He stood swiftly in his stirrups, turning his head to look at the approaching monsters. "Just make sure my horse doesn't run off."

With that, he simply jumped off, aiming for the first, smallest Titan. The four Scouts watched in stunned silence as the lean man crossed the distance as fast as if he had gears, just with the pure power of his legs.

"Collier Shoot" Sanji's foot made contact with the Titan's neck. The force of the impact was strong enough to catapult the creature off the ground and into a ten-meter's legs, toppling the larger beast and killing the smaller one in an instant. "Épaule Shoot" Still airborne, the cook brought his heel down, crushing it into the floored Titan's nape and defeating it as well. The blonde didn't pause as he leapt at another seven-meter class.  
"Mouton Shoot"  
This kick was aimed at the Titan's midsection. It sent it reeling into the last seven-meter beast, sending the latter stumbling and the first down with its spine broken. Then, Sanji leapt at one of the ten-meters that made a reach for him, propelling himself up into the air. His body started flipping over rapidly, creating the image of a buzz saw as he came down. The "Concasse" killed both smaller Titans instantly. The ten-meter now tried to grasp the cook again, so he attacked its head with a series of kicks aimed at the chin and mouth region. His attacks came so fast, that the Titan was unable to bite down, despite having his legs inside its mouth several times. With a final 'Collier Frit' Sanji decapitated the unlucky beast with a sickle-like swipe.

The remaining two Titans now apparently tried working together, approaching the man from both sides. Sanji exhaled coldly, then leapt up only to kick the air beneath him to effectively climb skywards. Upon reaching a certain height, he stopped climbing and started spinning so fast, his shape started to blur. This caused enough friction to set his leg on fire, as he swiped down once more. "Extra Hachis" was aimed at the smaller Titan. A barrage of flaming kicks connected with his upper body, causing massive burn damage and injuries. With a final "Flambé Shoot", Sanji finished this one off.

The cook landed near the stunned scouts, taking a deep breath. "And now for the main course... HELL MEMORIES!" In an instant, his body caught fire. He dashed back towards the fifteen-meter class, kicking it once. The impact set the whole creature ablaze, sending it stumbling back in pain. A "Collier Strike" with the flaming leg was the final move, as Sanji easily burnt his way through the Titan's nape.

As all of the bodies dropped down and started evaporating, the cook calmly lit a new cigarette and watched the carcasses burn. "Now you know to never mess with the cook."

-oOo-

**Team Franky**

The Scouts found themselves facing three fifteen-meter Titans just as they rounded a corner in an abandoned village.

"Gear up and finish them off!" Ho, a scout, shouted, "There's a Deviant approaching as well!"

"Only four? That's all they can do?" Ymir grunted.

"Let me do that", Franky claimed, "I can do that just Super" He grinned as he put his shades over his eyes. "Also, I'm about the only one of us here who's not going to be eaten by those idiots."

"By all means, show us", Connie said, "I would like to see what your Robot Body can do."

"How about starting by throwing a house at them?" Christa pointed out jokingly.

"Hm. I see why not", Franky shrugged before taking off towards the lone windmill that stood there.

"What?! I was joking, you id-"  
_CRACK_

The loud noise made the three Titans stop in their tracks, eyes trained at the now trembling Windmill. With seemingly no effort at all, the Cyborg had grabbed the construct and easily ripped it out of the ground.

"Watch this!" the Cyborg shouted, "Franky Baseball Bat!" He hit the Titans.  
Hard.  
Using the Windmill as a giant bat.

The three beasts went down, staying stunned under the shattered remains of the construct. Franky grinned as he turned towards the Deviant Class that watched the show. "Now to us until your friends over there are back upright again", the shipwright taunted. The Titan seemed to consider this before launching an attack at the seven-foot-ten-man. The Pirate easily dodged, flipping his left hand away to reveal a massive gun barrel. "Weapons Left!" A powerful projectile shot from the Cyborg's arm, exploding upon making contact. The Deviant reeled back, just in time to be hit by a barrage of missiles impacting into its body. Franky's shoulders clapped back shut again as he leapt up, shooting his right hand into the Titan's jaws. The beast's spine shattered, breaking its nape in the process.

The other three managed to get back to their feet, approaching the pirate once more, oblivious towards the danger he posed.

"Ah. I see you want a piece of me too, do you?" Franky grinned as he held both palms towards them.  
"Franky..."  
Energy started to gather around the opening of his palm.  
"Radical"  
The Titans stopped suddenly, realizing that this was going to hurt.  
"BEAM!"

A mighty golden blast erupted from the Cyborg's hands. The explosion was so powerful that nearby trees simply broke like matches. The Scouts ducked low over their horses to hold on while trying to calm them down. Thankfully, the Cyborg decided to shoot away from them. Still, the attack was overwhelming. Dust swept around them in massive clouds, blinding them momentarily.

When everything settled down, they could only stare in awe at the sheer destruction the beam caused.

Half the Village was gone in a single blast. The ground had been dug open in a giant cone-like shape. Trees were broken.  
The Titans had been vaporized in an instant.

"Oh my..." Christa whispered, "That was..."

"SO AWESOME!" Connie, Ymir and Ho shouted. Their eyes were sparkling and all three were drooling as well.

Franky laughed out before slamming his forearms together to strike his usual position, shouting "SUPER!"

Connie, Ymir and Ho mimicked his movements.

The Horses too.

Christa hit her face with her hand.

-oOo-

**Team Brook**

Bertolt threw a questioning glance over to Reiner, who in return only frowned. Jean was struggling not to look back. Sweat was glancing off his forehead and his patience started to run thin.

Eventually, he could no longer resist his urge as he whipped around and snarled at the skeleton following them.

"Do you really have to hum the whole time?!"

Brook flinched. "Ah, Sorry", he replied sheepishly, "It's just a habit I picked up."

"Habit? Humming when you're going on a trip?" Bertolt wondered.

"Or singing. It is never a bad idea to sing along when we are making a trip."

"This is no trip!" Jean shouted, "This is an important mission! We are in Titan territory and we might all die here!"

Brook jerked back. "Die? We might die? Oh noo! I don't wanna die yet!" He paused. "Ah well. I'm dead already."

"You just noticed that now?" Reiner asked incredulously.

"My soul is still very much alive, that is why my body is still alive despite being made up of bones", the skeleton explained.

"Still no reason to hum when we are on a suicide mission", Jean growled.

"I'm sorry if it offends you", Brook replied, "It's just... I'm deadly scared by those Titans. And to boost my morale, I'm singing."

"Wait... You... are afraid of some Titans?!"

"I really fear those giant perverts", the musician answered.

"You are a walking skeleton! _We _should be afraid of _you_!"

"...Am I really that scary?" Brook asked Bertolt. The tall boy grimaced uncomfortably. "Well... you _are _a living skeleton. Most people think that is what nightmares are made of."

"...I never realized that..."

The other three dropped their jaws at Brook's statement, thinking "He's an idiot" at the same time. That was when the ground started shaking. Five massive Titans suddenly ran towards them.

"Titans!" Jean yelled, "Get ready, guys!" With ease, all three leapt off their steeds and shot skywards to create a formation and distract the monsters.

That was when they noticed Brook was still on the ground. The Titans stopped near him, eyed him hungrily before choosing to continue chasing after the three scouts.

The skeleton watched them, before his cheekbones turned an angry red.

"HEY! WHAT'S THAT FOR YOU IDIOTS?! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT BONES ARE VERY NUTRITIOS?!"

"...Does he want to get eaten?"

"Looks like it..."

"Katsuriuta: Fubuki Giri"

There was the sound of metal against metal and suddenly Brook stood right in front of the Titans. The massive creatures roared out in pain as they stumbled, unable to make another step.

"What was that?" Reiner asked surprised, "They aren't moving anymore?"

"Where does the Ice come from?!" Bertolt wanted to know, pointing at the white mass that was around the Titan's feet.

"The chill of the Underworld- it froze you to the ground", the skeleton explained as he turned once more to face the Titans. "Now I will make you pay for disregarding me."

He took a few steps towards the Titans, dashed past them with his sword drawn and stopped several steps behind the giants.

The Ice shattered, allowing the monsters to, once more, approach the scouts.

"Hey you stupid Bonehead!" Jean shouted, "You freed them! What the Hell?!"

"I didn't", Brook replied. "I just cut them. They just didn't notice it."

Like on cue, the five beasts suddenly collapsed, disintegrating before even hitting the ground.

"How-?!"

"This", the musician said, "Is the power of the soul." He whirled around. "See? It makes my skin shiver with anticipation! But I don't have any more skin! Skull Joke! Yohohohoho!"

"..."

"Why do we have to get the idiot?"

-oOo-

**Team Chopper**

"So? What are going to do here?" the young reindeer asked, looking at the large trees around them.

"We're going to catch us a Titan", Hanji explained gleefully.

"Really?"

"Yup!"

Moblit sighed. "Commander, where are we supposed to put these here?" he asked, pointing towards massive barrel-like constructs.

"Put them under the trees or on the branches. We got to hide them", the scientist replied.

"I could help", Chopper threw in "I'm strong too!"

"Then do so", Moblit muttered, "We have to bolt these harpoons down so no Titan can get them loose."

"Okay!" In an instant, the little bipedal reindeer shifted into a much more massive shape that looked like a mixture between man and beast. With a single punch, he drove the anchors into the ground so deeply that it would be near impossible to get them out again. While the other members of Hanji's legion was staring in surprise, the commander herself was frothing at the mouth and staring sparkly-eyed at the transformed reindeer.

"Done!" Chopper claimed. "How about some traps next?"

"Traps?" Moblit asked surprised.

"Pitfalls", the young doctor replied, "You know, when they fall in, you might not need so many harpoons."

"That's a brilliant idea!" the commander squealed, "Can you do that as well?"

"No problem", Chopper beamed at her before transforming again, shifting into something that resembled his first shape more, only with massive antlers.

With a 'Weeeeh' he leapt upwards and smashed headfirst into the ground, burrowing into the soil.

Half an hour later he emerged again, saying he just finished undermining the whole area.

His smile quickly morphed into a terrified shriek though as he saw Hanji, passed out on the floor with white foam around her mouth.

-oOo-

**Team Zoro**

Commander Erwin, Commander Mike and several other scouts rode along flat terrain. Since these soldiers were among the strongest, they chose the most difficult route.

And maybe that was the reason the Pirate sent this directional-challenged swordsman with them. If anybody could find him once he got lost, it would be the Commanders.

Erwin actually discovered himself to throw a few looks back then and there, only to see whether Zoro was still with his group.

But then again, he had his men ride around the swordsman's horse, so he wouldn't even have a chance to disappear.

And so far, it was working.

That was when he noticed the man's face.

"Is everything alright?" Erwin asked, "You're looking so... tense."

"They're coming", Zoro replied with a small grin on his face.

"They...who?"

"Titans!" Mike suddenly noticed, "A large group is coming!"

"What?" Erwin's eyes narrowed. "How far away?"

"Coming closer, and that pretty fast!"

"Good", the green-haired pirate said, "Let them come."

"We need to get to higher grounds!" Mike snapped, "Or else we're going to get into trouble!"

The swordsman's single eye watched him for a moment before the man snorted in amusement. "Don't worry. My captain ordered us to keep you safe. And this I will do."

"Deviant Class incoming!" A scout shouted, "Fifteen Meter, coming right towards us!"

"Take it out!" Erwin ordered, "Or else it will cause more trouble than it is worth!"

"Wonderful", Zoro smirked as he slid off his horse and casually strolled towards the now visible Titan. The creature stopped as it saw the man moving towards it, arms spread wide as he was taunting it. "Don't you want to have a taste?" Zoro asked, "Come on, let's see how strong you are!"

The Deviant growled before lifting its foot, intent on flattening the guy. The scouts were yelling in panic as the monster stomped down.

"Is that everything?"

The soldiers stared in shock as Zoro still stood straight, holding the Titan's foot with a single hand. "You're pretty weak then", the pirate explained as he effortlessly pushed the beast away, sending it stumbling back. Without caring about the other Titans closing in, Zoro tied a bandana around his head before reaching for his sword. "Let's end this then, Retarded Pervert Giant."

He arched his back slightly.

"Ittoryu..."

His eye started gleaming.

"Iai..."

Suddenly he charged, dashing past the Titan before anybody could react.

"Shi Shishi Sonson."

The creature behind him swayed and started steaming before it collapsed to the ground, cut cleanly in half.  
Lengthwise.

While the soldiers still watched in stunned silence, the other Titans suddenly stopped in their tracks. They were no Deviants like the first one, and still they stopped.

Why?

Seconds later, Erwin found his answer in the downright _psychotic _expression the pirate showed on his face as he stalked towards the other beasts. He drew his remaining two swords, wedging one between his teeth and two in one hand each.

"Let's finish this. I'm getting bored by this nonsense", Zoro claimed as he moved into position. He spun his swords in a circular motion "Kokujo: O Tatsumaki"

A massive twister appeared out of thin air, crushing into the Titans and shredding them within seconds. The Whirlwind raced across the plains, disappearing somewhere.

"Holy Mother of Sina", Mike breathed, "What was _that_?!"

"A storm made of blades", Erwin muttered.

"Uh..." one of the scouts suddenly piped up.

"What is it, Soldier?"

"The Pirate... He ran off just now."

"..."

"Oh for Fuck's Sake!"

-oOo-

**Team Luffy**

"Ooooooooooh! This cloud looks like a piece of meat"

"Luffy..."

"Ooooh. And that one over there too"

"Luffy"

"Hey! Another one. Hm. Looking at all these meat-shaped clouds makes me hungry."

"Luffy!" Armin shouted, finally succeeding in gaining the pirate's attention.

"Are you hungry too, Armin?"

"It's not that, but you do know we are in the Enemy's territory, right?"

"Ah! These Perverted Idiot Giants? I still don't see how they are trouble to you guys."

"They are dangerous", Siss, one of the two senior scouts snapped, "And we have to be on our guard at any time!"

"Then why aren't you doing anything against the guy running over here?" the Strawhat asked naively. The three scouts whirled around in their saddles, noticing the fifteen-meter class running towards them.

"Shit! It's a Deviant!" Ness shouted.

"Are they worse than the other idiots?"

"They are", Armin gasped, "They are more intelligent and more dangerous- we have to take it down before-"

_SNAP_

The three could react fast enough as the pirate suddenly went flying right into the Deviant's face.

"Heeeeeeyyy! Become my Nakama!" the young man requested while hanging from the creature's face. The Titan only looked at him with a mild interest.

"LUFFY!" The three scouts shouted, ready to jump into action. However, they couldn't do anything as the Titan suddenly bit down on the boy's torso.

Moments later, the pirate had reeled back his arm and punched the creature hard into the face to send it flying. "Hey! Armin!" he shouted while the Titan started evaporating, "You were lying! That guy was just as stupid as the others!"

Armin blinked, glancing at his two comrades who just sat there with their mouths hanging open. "Uh...When I said 'more intelligent', I was referring to the other Titans. Compared to us, Deviants are still pretty much retarded."

Luffy had the decency to blink, before he slapped his fist into his open hand. "Ah. So all of them are stupid?"

"Some more than the others", Ness mumbled, "How the hell did you survive this? Titans can bite people in half!"

"Oh, that's because I'm rubber. I can't be bitten by guys like them. There was this one guy on Drum and he tried eating me too, because I told him to stop eating our ship."

"Uh...Rubber?" Siss questioned. He barely followed what that guy just said.

"Yep!" Luffy beamed as he walked up to them. "I'm a Rubber man because I have eaten the Gomu Gomu no Mi. See?" To prove his point, he grabbed either side of his mouth and just pulled his cheeks apart. When he let go of his cheeks, they snapped back together with an elastic sound.

"..."

"Okay, now I wish Captain Levi was here. I could really use that flask right about now", Ness muttered.

"Speaking of Levi... Why didn't you send one of your guys with him? Eren's about the most important person", Siss asked.

"You mean Angry-Looking Shorty Captain?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right", Armin giggled. The two senior scouts stifled laughter as well.

"Ah, that's because he's really strong", Luffy replied grinning, "You know, I think he might even be stronger than Shanks or Old Man Whitebeard. I don't think he needs our help."

"But we might need it- another Deviant Incoming!"

The three turned upon Siss' warning, noticing the fourteen-meter tall skinned Titan dashing towards them. It looked female and from the way it was moving, it was clear it was no ordinary Titan.

"I'll beat her up", Luffy declared. He charged, biting down hard on his thumb to inflate his other arm. "Gomu Gomu no Elephant Gun!" His fist, now black and roughly the size of a large Titan's fist, shot towards the approaching Deviant.

The Female Titan suddenly dove to the side in the blink of an eye, dodging the onslaught by a hair's width as it rolled over its shoulder into a crouched position.

"She dodged?" Armin wondered, "Does that mean-?!"

"Heeeeyyyyyyyyy!" the Strawhat Boy suddenly yelled, catapulting himself over to the fourteen-meter giantess, "Do you want to become my Nakama?"

The Titan appeared stunned from the guy's abilities, but still it snatched him effortlessly out of the air, holding him in front of its face.

"Shishishi! Sorry I attacked you, I thought you were just as stupid as the others. Do you want to become part of my crew?"

_SNAP_

The Female Titan wasted no time in pulling Luffy longer than he was before sending him flying like a rubber band.

While Ness, Siss and Armin traded looks before dashing off to free the Pirate from the tree he landed in, the Titan turned and ran away.

"Shishishi. I think we're going to be best friends."


	5. In which there are Rage Quittings

**Author: Okay. I noticed one thing: Apparently I can _NOT _write Plotholes I intented to fill in later. Apparently I have to finish each and every chapter so there are no more questions remaining because some of you do not understand the simple concept of an 'On-going' Story. Any questions that might pop up will, most likely, be answered by the last chapter. (if it isn't you're free to whine to me about it)  
Also, for those who nagged about the last Chapter: Luffy is an idiot. A powerful and loveable idiot, but an idiot-none-the-less. To him is 'Being as strong as' and '_Could _be as strong as _if he had the same training_' about the same. Of course I know that Levi is nowhere near the Level of any One Piece character, so you don't have to tell me that.  
But he would be most likely, if he was in the One Piece world.  
And that is what Luffy was referring to.  
**

***sigh***

**Now this is off my plate (sorry for ranting there), here is the next Chapter. I wrote it down as fast as possible so there are not going to be any more questions.**

* * *

In which there are Rage Quittings

Wind was blowing into Eren's face as he nervously looked around. Gunther, Petra, Oluo and Eld were to the left and right of him while Levi brought up the front. A few times Titans came pretty close, but for whatever reason they chose to ignore the six.

"Don't worry about 'em", Gunther spoke up from the rear, "Our squad's known for making the most kills, but Truth is, those idiots keep ignoring us most of the time."

"Why?" Eren asked.

"No idea", Oluo replied, "But that's making our job easier. I kinda suspect it's the captain who's keeping them aw-ouch!" His words drowned pretty quickly in a flood of mumbled curses as he, once again, bit on his own tongue.

"That's our favourite hypothesis", Eld joked, "You know, the Titans are so scared of Captain Levi that they, if they come closer, they recognize him and turn back around."

"Titans are idiots", Petra spoke up, "And some Deviants still attack us. I rather guess they find something better to do other than eat five meagre people."

"We're getting company", the Captain's low voice suddenly spoke up. Everybody turned to see Erwin and his group coming closer.

"Have you seen Zoro?" Mike asked as they joined the other group.

"The green-haired Pirate Dude?" Eren wondered, "No, can't say I have."

"Strange, because this is the only way any scout would have gone."

"A scout, maybe", Levi replied, "But that guy's an idiot."

With 'aaahs' and 'oohs', the group declared this the correct answer. A few moments later, they reached the Forest of Giant Trees, where they slowed down somewhat. Titans usually didn't go inside the greens, so they were pretty safe here.

"Okay, we reached the forest. You satisfied, Commander?" Eren mumbled.

"Satisfaction is not my nature", the short Captain replied, "Things going smooth means that things are going downhill. I learned that the hard way."

Suddenly the earth shook. Like a demon sent from hell, a fourteen-meter Titan charged through the trees, running right towards them.

"Get ready!" Erwin growled, "Don't let it take Eren!"

"I can fight too!" the Titan Shifter snapped, "Let me fight her, it is no use wasting your people like that!"

"Wait a moment", Mike suddenly spoke up, "Someone's coming..."

"HEYYYYYYYYYYYY! I FOUND YOU AGAIN!"

_TWACK_

The Female Titan stumbled to the side as it was hit by a powerful impact. The Scouts looked back, noticing the Strawhat Captain hanging from its neck, laughing merrily.

Armin, Ness and Siss came from the undergrowth, grinning awkwardly.

"What's the meaning of this?" Erwin questioned.

"We have no idea, sir", Armin answered, "This deviant just appeared out of nowhere and Luffy suddenly got it in his head to ask her whether she wanted to become his Nakama."

"Why should a Titan want to become a Nakama of some Pirate Captain?" Gunther wanted to know.

"I have a vague idea", the blonde boy explained, "You see, I guess Luffy's thinking the same as I did- he thinks this Titan is no real Titan, but a _Shifter _like Eren. And that means there is a person inside."

"What?" The group glanced back to the Titan. It was struggling with the Captain who was still tightly wrapped around its neck. This struggle had slowed it down, so the distance had increased somewhat. They could still see the Pirate clearly, though.

The Female Class finally managed to grasp the young man and pull him off, stretching his limbs in the process to unnatural length.

"What is up with that guy?! Why don't his arms tear off?!" Petra gasped in shock.

Ness and Siss looked at each other before answering. "That's because he's made of rubber or something. We didn't really understand how that was possible, but it is a fact he is."

A frustrated roar behind them drew their attention again as the Titan threw the Pirate away like a toy as it sped up to try to catch up to the group.

Laughter reached their ears when seconds later the pirate's hand suddenly latched onto Erwin's horse. With an elastic 'snap', the boy came shooting back towards them, nearly knocking Erwin and Levi off their steeds as he landed.

"Shishishi. I like her already", the kid grinned

"That wench just tried to kill you", Levi growled as he struggled to keep his horse under control.

"Don't worry, punches won't do any good. And all of my Nakama first didn't like me", Luffy explained beaming. "Ah, I wanted to ask you something" he went on. "Why don't you go and fight her? You are pretty powerful, aren't you?"

"I can not fight a Titan directly." The Captain growled. "Nobody can. Face-to-face and we'll lose."

Luffy blinked. "Really? I am pretty sure you are at least as strong as Shanks or Old man Whitebeard. You know, Whitebeard could split the sky!"

"There is no way I will ever be as powerful as them. I can not split the sky. Killing a few dozen retards is one thing, but not...splitting the sky, you say?"

"But I thought-"

"I am only human, not a monster"

"Hm. If you say so..."

"... Idiot..."

"Hey! Don't call our captain that! He's still our SUPER Captain!" a new voice yelled. More scouts arrived from another side. The Cyborg Franky was with them.

"Hey Franky!" Luffy grinned, "Look, I found us a new Nakama!"

"The giant Lady? Mhm She's just as perverted as I am, I like her!"

"DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS ABOUT BEAUTIFUL LADIES, YOU SCREWHEAD!" Sanji's loud voice shouted. The cook and his group joined the Scouts next, followed by Brook and the others. Sanji growled lowly when he lit another cigarette. "Ladies aren't perverted, only you meatheads are."

"I wonder if that new Nakama is going to show me her panties", Brook wondered.

"I doubt it", Franky claimed, "She ain't wearing anything."

"She ain't..."

"...wearing anything?!"

Both perverts snapped their heads around immediately, settling their eyes on the Female Titan that was still chasing after them.

After realizing that she was, indeed, stark naked, both simply erupted into a massive nosebleed that easily catapulted both off their horses and onto the ground several yards away.

Just where Chopper had dug his pitfalls earlier.

The loud rumble that echoed through the forest from the two idiots tumbling into the pits made everybody, Scouts and Titan included, stop dead in their tracks as they watched the cook and the skeleton disappear into the ground.

"Wahooo! We caught one!" Hanji's excited voice shouted as she leapt from her hiding spot and ran towards the trap. She stopped in an instant as she recognized the two inside the hole.

"What the hell? What are you two idiots doing down there?"

"Idiots?" Chopper asked when he came up next to Hanji, looking down as well. His eyes widened. "Oh no! Sanji and Brook! And there is so much blood! AHHH! SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR!" He started running circles before realizing that he was the only Doctor around. Luffy and Franky were laughing, while the scouts just sat there and stared.

"...What the actual fuck is wrong with you people?"

They blinked and turned towards the voice. It was way too deep and raspy to be from anyone else but the...Female Titan?

The massive creature stood there, arms crossed over its chest and one foot tapping on the forest floor.

"Did you...just talk?" Mikasa asked finally.

The Titan threw her a deadpan look. "Of course I did. Why shouldn't I be able-" Her eyes widened in realization. "Sonofabitch"

"Ahahaha!" Luffy cheered as he latched onto her face again, sending the Female Type stumbling back. "You really aren't as stupid as the others! Hey? Wanna be my Nakama? Franky could build you an extra ship to come with us!"

"That's true!" Franky added, "You could come with us, sis!"

"I don't want to become your goddamn Nakama!" The Titan shouted, trying to pry the Pirate off her face, "I'm just trying to finish my mission!"

"Is it an important mission?"

"Of course it is you numbskull!" She growled as she finally got the Strawhat off. "It is very important for me and-" She paused before throwing her arms up. "You know what?! Just... Just forget it!"

With a resigned gesture she turned on her heel and marched off. "I'm not going to deal with this kind of bullshit." She glanced back at Eren. "You. Yeager. You go and capture yourself, will you? I'm through with that kind of nonsense!"

"But you can't go!" Luffy wailed, "You are my Nakama now!"

"And I want to study youuuuuuuu!" Hanji wept.

"Go screw yourselves!" The Titan shouted as she proceeded to angrily stomp away from them, kicking an unfortunate smaller Deviant Titan that thought it could sneak up on them.

"Well... that certainly was something..." Reiner deadpanned.

"Wow. She was really pissed", Ymir added.

"LUFFY! WHY DID THE LADY RUN OFF?! HAVE YOU DONE SOMETHING TO HER?!" Sanji shouted with cotton stuffed up his nose.

"She just yelled at me and then walked away", the Pirate Captain answered, "But don't worry, Sanji. We'll see her again."

"I'll hope this for your sake, Luffy", the cook seethed, "Or else I will stop feeding you meat."

The Pirate Captain gasped loudly as he reeled back, staring at the Blonde.

"Where have you guys been?!" another voice yelled loudly. When they turned, they saw Zoro behind Hanji's group. Apparently, he just came from the _other side_ of the forest, having slaughtered a whole lot of Titans, if the shaking legs of his horse were any indication. "You got lost, didn't you?" He added with an arched eyebrow.

"We didn't get lost!" Erwin gave back, "You just disappeared!"

"What? You suddenly vanished, I just kept on riding!" Zoro grumbled.

"Eyebrows is right, Marimo", Sanji threw in, "You got lost again."

"I don't get lost, swirly-brow", the Swordsmen growled as he got off the horse to face Sanji.

"Of course you did. Your orientation is that of a blind mule!"

"SAY THAT AGAIN, IF YOU WANT TO DIE SO BADLY, ERO-COOK!"

"GLADLY! WITH OUR PISS-POOR AIMING SKILLS YOU WON'T EVEN HIT ME!"

"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!"

"TRY ME, IDIOT-SWORDSMAN!"

Levi only sighed in resignation as the shouts and sound of fighting became louder. He unscrewed the flask and was about to drain it when Zoro's Horse suddenly snatched it and emptied it itself.

The image of Humanity's Strongest, of the feared Captain Levi, fighting with a horse over a stolen bottle of scotch would remain forever burnt into the scout's minds.


	6. In which Scouts learn the Art

**Author: No fear. I have no intentions of discontinuing this story. In fact, I don't even like abandoning stories that make me laugh. I just don't like uploading them too fast, because I keep getting distracted from writing by my own - oh! Kitties!**

***skips off to pet kittens***

* * *

In which Scouts learn the art of the Strawhats  


Levi scowled.

His face was made for scowling.

It was what he did best, especially around the Military Police. He never had any respect for those men. With Nile Dok being the sole exception, all of these soldiers around here were wimps that had no other ability than marching around like they owned the place. They knew no combat, and because of that Levi had no respect for them.

He had even less respect for the military leaders or the King. His reputation as 'Humanity's Strongest Soldier' was the only thing that saved him from prison because of lèse-majesty.

Until now.

"Am I hearing this right? You still want to execute Yeager?!"

"He's a Titan", one of those ball-less wussies claimed. "Worse even! A Titan Shifter!"

"And, according to your reports, this so-called 'Female Titan' is another Shifter. Who says she's not working with Eren?"

"If you have read the report, she tried to capture Yeager", Levi snarled. "It was only the presence of those Pirates that she didn't succeed."

"We read this too. It sounds pretty much like a fairy tale from what you wrote about their powers. Aren't you sure it isn't just your imagination?" one particular scummy scumbag asked. Levi glared at him, making him shrink back in fear.

"I want Yeager", he demanded, "I want his power. If he can control his Titan Form, we could employ a new strategy. Send in the Titan. Let him slaughter the other Titans. We scouts will have his back and take out those that come too close."

"Wait", Nile interjected, "You want to use... a Titan... as weapon?"

"We got this weapon and we should use it", Levi replied.

"This is Madness! You can't hope to control a Titan!"

"Is it Madness? Is it?" Levi glanced at each man in turn. "We've been fighting- and losing- against those fucking retards and when we finally have the chance to turn the war in our favour you suddenly step back?" His gaze turned icy. "That makes me wonder who the real traitor is." He turned, leaving the uneasy men behind. "At any rate", Levi added as he walked out, "I will have words with the Pirate Captain. As stupid as he might be, he is an ally worth of keeping. I will ensure we have his help."

With a slam, the door fell shut. Grunting, one of the admirals turned to face a man who stood in the shade the whole time.

"Your brat is getting nosy", he mumbled, "You have to deal with him before he's making matters worse, Ackerman."

Thin lips arched upwards, revealing gleaming white teeth as the Serial Killer tipped his hat back. "Looks like I have to", he admitted. "It's a shame. That kid's got talent."

-OoOoO-

"You're learning fast. What is it that drives you?"

"I want to become stronger. I want to protect Eren at any cost."

"That's a good reason"

With a metallic sound Zoro sheathed his blades as he surveyed the training dummies he sicced Mikasa on. "You have talent and enough willpower to see through it", the swordsman eventually admitted. Mikasa nodded and allowed herself to take a small break to check up on the others. Sasha was with Usopp. Both were shooting at targets that stood at the other end of the courtyard. Within a few days the huntress increased her shooting range and accuracy dramatically under the Sniper's tutelage. Mikasa wasn't sure how this was possible, but then again her own strength and endurance had improved ever since she started training with Zoro. So far, she discovered she was going through the blades at a much slower rate, while effortlessly chopping through wood and even brittle stone. Armin was, as always, more interested in the technology than actual fighting. He was with Franky while the Cyborg explained to him how to repair and upgrade various pieces of equipment. Connie, Reiner, Bertolt, Jean, Ymir and Eren were more interested in hand-to-hand combat. This was why they had Luffy and Sanji show them some tricks. Mikasa noticed with some sort of pride that Eren was the best, capable of holding his own even against some punches the Pirate Captain threw at him. Christa sat with Nami and Robin, letting them show her some of their tactics.

The older Scouts were training their combat with Erwin.

Poor Keith Shadis sat in a corner and wept silently, because some Pirate Idiots did a better job at training the recruits than he did.

"Man! I wish I knew where they come from!" Reiner eventually stated, "Because it must be awesome where they live."

"Yeah", Jean admitted dreamily, "I feel strong enough to take out a three-meter class with my bare hands!"

"Why don't we just ask them?" Ymir inquired.

"..."

"...That's an actually good idea..." Connie mumbled. He turned to Luffy. "Hey, where are you guys from, anyways?"

"Oh, we're from the East Blue", the Captain replied grinning, "Well, Sanji's from the North Blue, Robin is from West Blue. Chopper, Brook and Franky are from the Grand Line."

"Uh..."

"And we just entered the New World, you know?" the Captain went on, "We were on Fishman Island which is an Island on the bottom of the sea. We rode on large whales and ended up where the sea was burning. That was really cool!"

"Burning Sea?"

"Giant Whales?"

"Fishman Island?"

"At the Bottom of the Ocean?"

"Uh..."

"But how did you end up here?"

Luffy frowned. "Huh... Ah, Right! There was this idiot! I have to punch him next time we see him!"

"Guy?"

"Apparently a Devil's fruit user", Robin explained calmly without looking up from her book, "He said he ate the 'Gate Gate' Fruit, which allowed him to open One-Way Gates between _worlds_."

"Right", Luffy nodded, "And suddenly we are on that river and those perverted idiot giants come running towards us."

"Then, how do you want to get back?" Bertolt asked. Luffy beamed at him.

"I have no idea, but we will figure something out. The One Piece will not run away anyways, so we have plenty of time to have some more adventures!"

"_That guy must be the most trusting idiot in the whole wide world"_ The scouts thought startled. It seemed that at least half of his crew actually thought the same, at least judging from their facial expressions.

The quickly snapped their attention to the entrance of the courtyard, where Levi just arrived. "We got the permission", he exclaimed coldly.

"Wonderful", Erwin replied, "What did you have to do for it?"

"The usual: Glaring, threatening, insulting and questioning their morale."

"What permission?" Luffy suddenly threw in.

"A new strategy", Erwin answered proudly. "Everyone, please gather around. We have new orders."

The scouts scrambled to stand up straight, while the pirates merely lifted their heads in curiosity. Since these were the Strawhat Pirates, Erwin knew he had to skip everything and get to the point immediately. "We have been accredited to change our strategy concerning the Titan Battles. Eren Yeager, you are going to become our spear head."

"What does that mean?" Connie asked.

"To put it simple", Levi explained, "Yeager is allowed to change into his Titan Shape, jump into a fray and tear open asses."

"Wait- isn't that kind of dangerous for him?"

"Look around- what do you see? We got a shitload of highly-trained scouts capable of killing Titans. It is going to be our duty to keep Yeager safe in these skirmishes."

"Hey, that's a SUPER idea!" Franky shouted, "C'mon! This has to be celebrated!"

"Yay! Party! Sanji, I want meat!" Luffy cheered along with his shipwright.

"Sorry, Luffy", Eren threw in, "But you guys have to wait for your party."

"Why?"

"Because I am still too weak. I can't do anything at this current stage."

"Ah, but that's no problem", the Pirate Captain grinned, "We can help you! You know, Zoro helped Kasa already a great deal!"

"Yeah... and that was quite successful..." the Shifter trailed off as his gaze moved over to a chest-thick tree that has been cut off in a single swipe- Mikasa's first victim after starting her training with the green-haired swordsman.

"Good", the Scouting Legion's Captain finished. "Go and get your shit together, Yeager. We need you in best condition."

"Uh- Yes, Sir!"

-oOo-

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Eren asked.

"It's the best way to train your Titan form", Chopper replied.

"But... Attacking _you_?!"

"Don't worry. You'll need a big target for practising. After that, you can try fighting the smaller ones."

"...Big Target?"

"I will attack you", Chopper declared as he took his position at the other end of the field. "You have to either defeat me or manage to stall me for three minutes."

"Three minutes", Eren frowned, "I guess I can give it a try."

"Fine", the small reindeer beamed. "Go on. Transform."

Eren nodded, focussing on fighting the little reindeer before he bit down on his hand. A mighty flash of light erupted from his body and the boy was simply swallowed up by his own, suddenly appearing Titan form. With a growl, the Rogue Titan got in a fighting stance. The reindeer nodded before lifting something small up. "Don't forget, Eren. I can only hold this form for three minutes. One of us both has to win within this time."

Eren snarled in understanding. Chopper flipped the small object up, catching it with his teeth.

"Rumble"

He shattered it.

The Rumble Drug only needed a short moment to work and when it did, the little reindeer changed into a new, Titanic Shape.

The Eren Titan made a strangled noise, similar to the gasps his friends uttered as Chopper became a truly massive Reindeer Monster. He stood at least twenty meters tall, with giant, branched antlers that added another three or so meters to his height. A thick, dense mane covered most of his chest, throat and shoulders. His feet had hooves, his hands five fingers.

With a wordless grunt he moved forwards, signalling that he was ready for battle. Eren wasted no time, launching his body towards the Titandeer. Chopper reeled back, arm poised for a strike. Eren dodged in time, spinning to deliver a strong kick to the reindeer's ankles. Chopper stumbled, but caught himself long enough to send a powerful elbow into the Titan's shoulder. Eren did not manage to hold his balance, so he crushed into the floor. The reindeer didn't waste any time to throw another, much more devastating punch towards the shifter. His 'Carving Hoof' easily tore through Eren's shoulder, separating his arm at the joint. Eren roared in pain, thrashing on the ground. The Titandeer froze before jumping back in shock. "AHHH!" he screamed in his deep, monstrous voice, "I ripped off your arm! Is there a doctor around to fix this?!" He paused, then quickly realized: "Right. I'm a doctor."

In that moment Eren lashed out with his foot, hooking it behind the deer's knee and knocked him off balance. Chopper hit the ground hard and suddenly found his arm pinned to the ground by the Titan's foot.

"I appreciate your concern", The Rogue Titan claimed with a toothy grin, "But Titans can regenerate their bodies without any greater troubles." He shrugged his shoulder to show the healing process. By now, he had grown back about half of his upper arm.

"Great!" Chopper beamed back up at him. "And I guess you've won. Great work Eren!"

"...Really?"

"Really!"

The Titan frowned before pumping his fist in a triumphantly pose. "Yesssssssss!" He whipped around. "Did you see that, Mikasa? I just beat one of them pirates!"

"That's nice, Eren", his sister replied, "Just a question: You do realize you are still in your Titan form right?"

"So?"

"You're making conversation with me."

"Oh..."

"It's okay. Just make sure Hanji won't notice that you can talk."

"ASFGELLFHGDSFGDTSSA" _*foam*_

"..."

"Too late..."


	7. In which two Captains have some Problems

**Author: An Intermediate part of the Story to have a little break before I'm going to write a (hopefully) longer battle scene. Just a small Hint: Ymir Titan is going to be there.**

**Until then, here is what Luffy and Levi are doing with their Free Time.**

* * *

In which two Captains have their own problems

It was a rather boring morning when the Police Corps rode along the walls. They had been given the task to check out and secure the break in Trost. Of course, this was the job of the Garrison, but somehow someone screwed up and the Military Police ended up with that particular mission.

Annie rolled her eyes at the chattering of her roommate Hitch and Marlo. These two always stuck together, gossiping or joking around. And it got on Annie's nerves.

"Will you two shut up already? You are being annoying", she hissed with an icy tone. While Marlo shrunk back (as did about everybody else in the hearing range), Hitch threw her a nasty glance. "Wow. I always thought you couldn't get any more bitchier, and still you did. What kind of stick do you have up your ass?"

"The kind that I will use to beat you dead with", Annie snarled.

Everybody knew better than to antagonize the short blonde any more, but apparently Hitch was going to try today.

However, before Annie could go through with her threat, a hand appeared out of nowhere and latched to a building corner.

A hand connected to an incredibly long arm.

"HEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!"  
_*SNAP*_

_*CRUSH*_

Faster than anybody could react, a red blur suddenly shot towards them. With a heavy noise it crashed right into Marlo and Hitch, took both with it and flying them into the wall. With pained groans the two Corps Members lay on the floor, twitching only. The blur that hit them stood there laughing and apologizing half-heartedly. "Ah, Sorry, sorry. I didn't see you there."

"Who are you?!" Nile Dok shouted. The intruder turned, giving him a bright smile.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy. The man who will become Pirate King!"

"Monkey D... you're that Pirate Erwin told me about", the Commander realized. He frowned at the mess that used to be his two soldiers. "Any reason you knocked my two soldiers out?"

"Ah, I got kind of lost and then I saw you", the young man replied, "And I just wanted to come here and ask you whether you want to become my Nakama."

"Nakama?" Dok wondered. "I don't know-"

"NO!"

Nile turned to the one who interrupted him. It appeared Ms. Leonhart was particularly cranky today.

"Awwww. Why not?" Luffy whined.

"Because I don't want to", Annie growled.

"But I asked you already, and you said you had a mission to finish. But then you said you're ending that mission, so I thought I could ask you again."

"Whatever I said, it doesn't mean I'll become your Nakama. Scram."

"But I want you to be my Nakama!"

"I said: SCRAM!" With a quick motion, Annie grabbed the Pirate and thrust him into a nearby trash dumpster, slamming its lid shut. Then she got back on her horse and continued her way towards Trost, leaving the stunned Police Corps behind.

Luffy freed himself a moment later, shouting: "But you can't leaaaaaveeee! If you don't become my Nakama, Sanji will take away the Meat!"

-OoOoO-

"Speed Fighter?" Levi arched an eyebrow at the Skeleton.

"That's certain", Brook replied. "I have seen a lot of swordsmen by now. There are only two types: Strength Fighters like Zoro-san and Speed Fighters like me. Now you", he pointed his bony fingers at the shorter man, "You are a Speed Fighter. And this is exactly why _I_ am going to show you some tricks."

"Mhm. I rather wish to learn something similar to Ackerman", the Captain grumbled, watching the Asian Girl chop down a few Titan Dummies.

"With the right preparations, anybody can fight as they wish", the skeleton replied matter-of-factly. "And I'm pretty sure I'm older than you, and young people have to listen to their seniors."

Humanity's strongest sighed. He never sighed this much ever since the Pirates arrived, but then again, maybe this were the first sings of alcohol poisoning? "As you wish, _pops_" he ground out between his teeth.

Brook's only reaction was a merry laughter before he got into his battle stance. "Now watch closely, Levi-san."

-oOo-

Kenny Ackerman, serial Killer and special unit of the Military Police, watched the two in the courtyard. The fact that the guy he raised to be a sadistic psychopath was now tamely learning sword techniques from a talking _skeleton_ did not sit well with him.

His eyes searched for an answer for the kid's unusual behaviour, and he soon found it hidden under Levi's discarded coat. An empty flask.

Kenny arched his eyebrows as he opened the bottle and took a sniff. He had to put it down quickly to avoid getting light-headed from the smell alone. A note stuck to the container.

_Rivaille. I know you motherfucker keep stealing my flask. Is it so hard to buy an own one? Of course noooot. You're the respected Captain of the Scouting Legion, you don't just go 'round buying bottles. You rather steal them from brittle old people.  
You know what? Fuck you. I have filled it this time with the stuff Hanji keeps around for eye operations. Let's see whether you can still stand after downing it. Hah! That'll teach you!  
Pixis_

The criminal eyed the note again, then turned to watch Levi. He didn't seem to have any troubles keeping up with the skeleton. And the skeleton was fast enough to actually vanish from sight.

With a snort, Kenny turned back around and marched off. If he wanted to take out that snotty brat, he couldn't use any drugs.

Apparently, that guy grew resistant against anything that might have an effect on his system.

-OoOoO-

It was around noon when Annie awoke. Yesterday was a nightmare. Somebody claimed he's seen a Titan and the Police Corps, the Military Garrison and the Scouts spent most of the day and the night trying to find the Titan. In the end, they discovered it was the Cyborg Shipwright whose shadow looked like a Titan under the right circumstances.

With an angry grunt the blonde turned over on her back and pried her eyes open.

Only to look directly into the grinning face of Monkey D. Luffy. The Pirate was perched on top of her bed, feet on either side of her body.

"Hey! You're awake! That's nice!" he beamed.

"Why are you on my bed?" The petite girl questioned, ignoring the fact the guy just broke into the female's barracks and sat nearly on top of one.

"Do you want to become my Nakama?"

Annie closed her eyes and exhaled coldly.

Several moments later, she left her room to head for the showers. Luffy was left behind- with his arms knotted to the bedpost.

-OoOoO-

Kenny Ackerman watched Humanity's Strongest Soldier with a pair of binoculars from atop a building. He was just talking to Nami, but stood a few feet away from her and kept her hands in plain view.

"Paranoid much, Levi?" Kenny asked amused, "Ah, it might keep you alive though."

He watched as the Pirate swung her staff several times through the air. Just as he wondered what this was about, he heard a deep rumble overhead. With an uneasy feeling, he looked up.

"Oh", he muttered as he stared right into the heart of a giant black thunder cloud. "Bollocks."

_KRATHOOOOOM_

Levi whipped his head around in alarm. "That Thunder sounded very loud", he stated.

"Mhm, that's weird", Nami admitted, "I just wanted to demonstrate you a simple Thunder Trap, but it sprung before I wanted to trigger it."

"I take a wild assumption and guess I was supposed to trigger that Trap, right?" Levi questioned with narrowed eyes.

Nami acted upset. "How can you think such a thing of me? I would have thrown a stone or something." She shrugged. "Besides, it only hurts half as much when the target is airborne. If you were standing or- god forbid- connected to your gears; now _that _would have hurt."

"Any idea what might have triggered your wonderful trap for me?"

"No idea. I guess somebody didn't pay attention to where he was standing."

"I get somebody to check this out", Levi replied as he turned to go.

"Well, I'll get back to my crew too", the Navigator claimed.

"Please don't", the Captain's voice suddenly spoke up.

"Huh?" Nami turned around confused. She noticed him watching her, holding out his hand.

"I still need that", the man added.

"Need what?"

"My Wallet. You stuffed it into your shirt. I want it back. With all the money still inside."

-OoOoO-

Annie said inside the mess hall next to the still-talking Hitch. Today was actually a good day, because they had a piece of meat with their potatoes.

"What was that about this weird guy last time?" Marlo asked eventually, "You know, the guy that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Hitch told me she'd seen him enter your room too."

The blonde arched an eyebrow. "He's just an idiot", she explained.

"Who're you talking about?" Luffy's voice suddenly asked. Moments later, the Strawhat sat on top of the table, right in front of Annie.

"Just a moron", the blonde replied, "Who keeps stalking me."

"What?!" The Pirate shouted, "Tell me who it is! I will beat him up!"

Marlo and Hitch eyed each other, so they didn't notice Annie taking the meat off their plates only to dangle it in front of Luffy.

"Strawhat. Catch!"

The Pirate immediately dove after the food as Annie threw it to the other side of the room. He caught it with no problem, inhaling it in an instant.

"Hey, that was funny! Do you have anything more?" He asked laughing. Annie was gone though.

One window was broken open.

-OoOoO-

Levi sat in his office, checking different papers. Or so he said. Truth was, he was merely hiding. Hiding from the Strawhat Pirates.

Yep. He. Levi Rivaille, also known as 'Humanity's Strongest' was indeed hiding from a nine-headed Pirate Crew.

The reason was simple: It was barely after noon and he was already out of booze. He couldn't risk stealing more from Pixis. That guy already started to guard his stash with a shotgun.

His door suddenly flung open, revealing the Captain of the people he tried to avoid.

"Huh? Captain Shorty?" Luffy wondered, "What are you doing here?"

"This is where I work", Levi replied with gnashed teeth. The 'Captain Shorty' tag the Pirate gave him hurt his pride a lot.

"Oh" There was a moment of silence, then: "What are you doing in the girl's rooms? Are you a pervert?"

Levi choked on his tea. He coughed and sputtered while swearing under his breath, before he turned to the Pirate again. "What makes you say that?"

"I was looking for that girl. I already asked her whether she wants to become my Nakama. So I have to be in the Girl's house, right?"

"_What kind of Logic is that?!"_ "This is not the Dormitory for the Female soldiers", the Scouting Legion's Captain growled, "You are in the wrong place."

"Oh" Luffy blinked. "What are you doing there?" He asked pointing to the stacks of paper on his desk.

"Work", Levi answered bluntly. "Unlike you, I have to work for my pay."

"Then why don't you become a Pirate? You are pretty strong. I think you could make it."

"Why should I?"

"Because then you don't have to do anything", Luffy grinned. "You could be free to do whatever you want to!"

"Free?" The Scout snorted in disgust. "Freedom is life's greatest lie."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because there is no way for any person to do anything they want. There is no freedom."

"Then you are not trying hard enough", Luffy pouted.

"What?"

"If you become really, really strong, you can do everything you want." The boy's look turned serious. "Like eating all the meat."

"You're serious."

"You can also have all the adventures you want. And when you are finished, you can go to find the next one"

"Okay. That just now will be worth the load of lead I'm going to get."


	8. In which Titans attack

**Author: Ten. I am going to make ten chapters.  
**

**Please let me know if you find any grammatical errors.**

* * *

In which Titans attack

"Titans! Titans have breached Wall Rosa!"

This fateful alert was the reason the whole scouting legion was outside in the murky darkness of this night. Some of them were looking for the breach, others searched for the Titans.

As before on the 57th Expedition, the Pirates were with them.

"Shouldn't we be kinda safe?" Usopp asked nervously, "I mean it is night, you guys are here and Luffy and the others are looking to beat up the Titans, right?"

"Yep, so we should be safe, right?" Nami questioned. The two Strawhat Pirates were currently riding along with Mike, Nanaba several more senior scouts and almost all of the younger scouts. Merely Mikasa, Armin and Eren weren't with them. Sasha had taken Chopper with her to go and check out her own village.

"Our intelligence told us that the Titans are active", Nanaba reminded them, "Despite it being night."

"AHHHH!" Usopp shrieked. Nami swallowed hard, trying to put on a smile. "Shouldn't we better wait for Luffy to arrive? Or maybe Sanji?"

"Too late there", Mike growled, "'Cuz I'm kind of smelling some Titans." He turned his head slightly. "Nanaba! Get them to Castle Utgard! I'll go and try to stall them!"

"Sir!"

"Ah, don't worry about me, I'm an old hound. I can take them"

"Be careful, Sir!"

Mike gave a short salute before splitting off from his group. The remaining scouts continued towards the abandoned Castle.

-oOo-

Mike wasn't so sure whether this has been a good idea.

Nope, siree.

This was a bad idea.

A really bad idea.

But who could expect something like that?

Titans weren't supposed to be nocturnal.

Yet he was in a small desolate village and those retards closed in from all sides. He had already taken out a few, but there were still a lot of them around.

And the Deviant that was strolling around nearby made him very nervous. It stood pretty tall, around 17 meters maybe, and its body was covered with long hair.

"_Maybe it's better to regroup"_ the senior scout thought, _"Well, either that or get the Hell away from here."_

He whistled sharply, calling his horse over while keeping an eye on the Titan. The Scout quickly realized that this hairy dude was, indeed, much more intelligent than any other Titan. It swiftly snatched the horse as it dashed past it and proceeded to throw it right at Mike's head.

"Sonofabitch", the man gasped as he dove to the side, quickly realizing that the roof had suddenly ended as he found himself dropping right towards a hideously deformed five-meter-class. "SHITSHITSHIT!"

_*CRUNCH*_

He barely registered the sound of the Titan being squashed as his fall abruptly stopped. With confusion, he realized that he was in the hand of another Titan. The Female Type that has been their target on the 57th Expedition.

"That was quite fast", a dark voice suddenly spoke up. Mike noticed the Female Titan whip her head into the Beast Titan's direction while slowly getting up from the crouched position she was in.

"I don't know if it was foolish or clever of you to come here. At night, when you are weakened and I have my troops with me", the hairy Titan continued nonchalantly, "But since you are here, you might hand that human over. I'd like to ask him a few questions."

"Hand him over?" The Female replied, "What for? To feed him to your retards?"

The Beast arched his eyebrows (if he had any. It was dark, so Mike couldn't really tell). "You dare to talk back to me? How intriguing. Also, you speak in front of a human? Why?"

"A few things changed. The point is I'm not going to give you this unfortunate soul."

"Disrespecting me again? I always thought you were a good little soldier. Guess I was wrong", the other Titan sighed. He frowned when he saw the Female point over his shoulder. "What?"

"Uh...Titan Bear?"

"Don't be ridiculous", the Beast sighed as he threw a glance over his shoulder, "There are no Bear Titans...?!" When he turned back around, the Female Titan and Mike were gone. All that was left was a slowly fading dust cloud.

-OoOoO-

"Titans incoming!"

"I'm on it... Impact Wolf!"

The giant green Wolf that appeared out of nowhere exploded violently upon making contact with a nasty fifteen-meter-class. The explosion however, did not drown out the massive thunderclap that told of the two seven-meter-classes that were just fried by the black clouds that weren't there before.

"It doesn't look really effective", Connie whimpered, "They just get up again"

"It works!" Reiner shouted, "We've already taken out a few!"

"Yeah, but there are even more coming", Nanaba pointed out.

"Why does this always happen to meeeeee?" Usopp wailed, even when he loaded another batch of Pop Greens into his Kuro Kabuto. "It was supposed to be safe here!"

"Where's Sanji when you need him?!" Nami shouted angrily as she swung her staff downwards, summoning a powerful lightning that torched another Titan. She frowned slightly as she threw the younger scouts a glance. "Why don't you guys have any Gears on you?" the Navigator asked, "So far we only have three guys with that stuff."

"Because we are persons of interest", Jean explained, "The upper ones think we're a danger because some of us _might_ be spies, so they think they can just put us somewhere and hope nothing happens." He grumbled. "Assheads."

Castle Utgard was already surrounded, and the Titans slowly started to gain the upper hand.

"Any idea there?" Ymir asked, "I mean, other than being eaten alive?"

"Pray to God, maybe?" Bertolt offered.

Usopp waved them off. "Nah, that won't work. Luffy already beat God up on that Sky Island two Years ago."

"Well Shit"

"Double Shit. Another Titan is just approaching", Nanaba mumbled, "At this rate we can break out the sauce and try to be appetizing."

"How about trying to look less appetizing? Could maybe save your lives one day."

"..."

"..."

"Squad Leader Mike?!"

Everybody turned around to stare at the returning man, who stood nonchalantly on the Female Titan's shoulder. "I brought some reinforcements", he grinned.

"Shut yer trap", the Titan growled, "I never said anything about helping you. I just don't want to get my ass eaten by those retards."

"Well, better start beating them up, eh?" Jean asked playfully.

"Great, Giant Perverted Lady!" Usopp cheered, "We can survive!"

"I should demand money for each second I was scared to death", Nami claimed, "But I guess I can make an exception."

_*CRUNCH*_

Everybody flinched at the loud noise as an unfortunate smaller Titan met its very early and very brutal end by the hands of the Female Titan, who now glared darkly at the crowd.

"One more word from you people and I will fucking _eat _you."

"Oh no, you wouldn't", Reiner grinned, "I haven't washed in days."

"That's what Tabasco is there for", the Titan replied, now smirking unpleasantly herself.

"...You wouldn't dare."

"I discovered just recently where they sell those huge bottles."

"Uh, guys?" Christa threw in, "Less talking and more smashing, maybe?"

"Right" Mike was the first to act. With the ease and precision of a seasoned veteran, he swung around the central tower of Castle Utgard to slice through several Titans at once. Nanaba and the other senior scouts followed suit, beginning to exterminate the threat.

And suddenly, the Titans scattered.

"Where are they going?" Connie wondered.

"Yosh! They are running!" Usopp cheered, "We scared them away!"

"I doubt it", Jean growled. "Something big is coming."

As on cue, the ground began shaking. First it was only light, like a distant herd of horses running past. However, it soon became a fully-grown tremor. The quake became strong enough to rock the entire castle.

And then, like a nightmare, a massive Twenty-Meter Titan marched right up to them. It was built like a brick house, with bulging muscles and a small stubby head.

"This looks like it could give us some problems", Mike mumbled, "Hey guys, any plans on taking that one down?"

"I got one", Reiner groaned. "Get on the big chick and run back to the walls as fast as possible."

"Problem there, muscle head", the Female Type gave back, "Pack of Retards in the way. They're just waiting for Dredger over there to finish us. Then they'll swoop in and eat all of us alive."

"Do you have any other ideas?"

"I got one: Attack!"

Mike, Nanaba and the other two seniors leapt towards the Brickhouse Titan, intent on finishing it off. The Female Titan charged as well, trying to keep its attention away from the Scouts.

_*CLANK*_

The sound of Mike's blades breaking made the younger scouts flinch and they had to watch helplessly as the Brickhouse Titan turned and tried to swat the Squad Leader. Nanaba barely managed to pull the man out of the danger zone.

"Shit!" Bertolt winced, "We have to help them."

"But how?" Connie asked, "We don't have our Gears, and that thing is too powerful!"

"I don't know", the tall boy mumbled, "But we have to help them." He added quietly "We have to help _her_"

Ymir narrowed her eyes, surveying the situation. The fourteen-meter class just managed to get both her arms ripped off by the larger Titan. Still, they tried to keep it at bay, but it was slowly advancing towards the Watchtower.

"Long-Nose", the freckled girl snarled, "How large can projectiles be for you to shoot them?"

Usopp blinked a few times. "Uh... about my size, why?"

"Good" Ymir whirled around. "Then shoot me at that overgrown freak!"

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me. Use me as bullet, I can take it down by surprise."

"Are you nuts?!" Reiner snapped, "You'll get eaten!"

"I won't", the freckled girl assured them. "I love my life too much to throw it away."

Usopp shrugged. "I see why not"

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" The scouts shouted.

"I had weirder requests already", the sniper explained nonchalantly.

"Good. Connie, give me your knife. I need it", Ymir nodded towards Nami. "Can you soften that guy a bit up? Fry his brain, if he has any."

"Already on it", the Navigator replied as she whipped her staff around, unleashing an egg. The egg cracked open, releasing ominous black clouds. The four senior scouts and the Female Titan noticed the danger and retreated as quickly as possible. Seconds later powerful lightning rained down, frying the 'Dredger' Titan. The massive creature stumbled, but remained standing even after the thunderstorm became weaker.

That was when Usopp finished. Two large rubber bands he pulled from his bag and which he knotted to the parapet acted as his slingshot. The long-nosed young man had pulled them to back as much as possible, going so far to use his 'Octopakutsu' to prevent slipping. Ymir, with a grim expression, sat in the makeshift sling and glared at her target.

"Ymir... maybe you want to think about this again?" Christa whimpered. "Please Ymir."

"I've decided to do this", the freckled girl growled, clutching the knife harder.

"Ready?" Usopp asked, his voice strained over the effort he had to use.

"Ready" Ymir confirmed.

"Okay. Usopp Special Star- Nakama Bullet!"

"Hey! What is that for a naaaaaaaa-" _*SNAP* _Ymir had no time to finish as the Pirate let go of the rubber bands. With a war cry (This was a war cry, not an undignified shriek!) the freckled girl was catapulted through the morning air. She quickly got her bearings back together when she slashed the knife through her palm.

There was a thunder clap and a bright explosion of light.

A slightly deformed seven-meter-class Titan crashed into the skull of 'Dredger', ripping it cleanly off with its long sharp claws and pointed teeth. The Female Titan acted next, kicking hard into the larger Titan's legs and tripping it. Mike then leapt up to slice through the now uncovered weak point, killing the massive entity.

"Fuck Yeah!" the Seven-Meter Titan cheered with a raspy voice while pumping its fist, "We showed 'im! C'mon big girl! Gimme a High Five!"

"..."

"..."

"...YMIR?!" The others shouted. The Titan blinked and looked suddenly pretty sheepish.

"Ahahaha... Yeah. About that..." It blinked its beady eyes. "I'm kinda a Shifter like Yeager."

Mike sighed as he marched back towards the watchtower. "And suddenly the world is full of Titan Shifters. I should've stayed in bed today."

"Impressive. Really Impressive"

Everybody froze and slowly turned towards the sound of the voice. The Hairy Titan stood there, slowly clapping its hands together. "You've taken him out. I thought you weren't strong enough." He shrugged. "But it doesn't matter. You still won't stay any chance."

"Oh yeah, hairy dude?!" Jean snapped, "Let's see about this!"

"He's right!" Usopp threw in, "I'm the great Captain Usopp, and I have 8000 men under my command!"

"Really", the Beast Titan grinned, "Well, I have a few Villages worth of Titans. Let's see how well you fare. Get them."

The ground shook as Titans of all sizes suddenly dashed towards Castle Utgard.

"Oh man", Reiner groaned, "I'm never going to see the end of this, will I?"

"Maybe we can ask Captain Levi to give us some of the Booze?" Bertolt questioned.

"I'm never going to take off my friggin' Gears after this", Jean grumbled.

"Me neither", Connie replied, "When we get out of here alive."

"GOMU GOMU NO PISTOL!"

_*POW* _

A large Titan was punched in the side of its torso and sent flying. The Beast Titan whipped around as the boy with the straw hat came running towards them.

"LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!" the kid yelled. More humans were following him. Among them were also the Shifter Boy and Humanity's Strongest Soldiers.

And suddenly the Titans were losing. Without mercy, the Scouts and the Pirates slashed and punched through the attackers, leaving nothing standing.

"This appears to be my exit cue", the Beast Titan mumbled as he turned to go.

"I doubt it" Like a bolt of lightning Levi suddenly appeared above the Seventeen-Meter-Class. "You're lucky we need you alive", the Captain claimed, "But that doesn't mean I'm going to make this hurt any less."

Without thinking, he delivered a powerful downwards kick, catching the Beast Titan at the crown of his head.

The effect was immediate: With a loud crash the creature was driven into the floor like a peg.

Levi landed on the floor several yards away, looking at the scene with a mixture of surprise and pride. "Huh. Nobody got eaten and we still have all our limbs. That went pretty well I guess."


	9. In which there are Titan Bears

**Author: First things first: Thank you so much for every Review. I try my best to make this story worth it. **

**This chapter used to be much more dark and serious. And then I added One Piece.  
A rather short Chapter too, but I'm going to end up with eleven or twelve Chapters in the end, I guess. Enjoy reading.**

* * *

In which there are Titan Bears

It was early in the morning. Sun-up has been about one and half an hour before and all of the invading Titans have been found and exterminated. Strangely, there was not a single break in the wall. So where did those Titans come from?

Levi exhaled through his nose and turned his head slightly to look at the Beast Titan that stuck up to its shoulders in the ground. The damage he did to its skull have already regenerated and now this bastard kept watching them with a sort of smug expression on its face. Mike, Nanaba and Moblit had tried cutting the human inside of it out, but it appeared that this special Titan had armour beneath its fur. Erwin eventually gave the orders to stop trying. They would try it with heavier weapons later on.

"Is there a reason you are so happy?" Humanity's strongest growled.

"Oh, nothing", the Beast Titan answered with a smirk. "But between you pathetic humans trying to cut open my neck and your absolute ignorance, it's kinda funny."

"Ignorance? Explain yourself"

"Ah, I guess you'll figure it out soon enough. Oh, you better duck, brat."

"Duck-?!" _*WHAMM* _His train of thoughts was broken off abruptly when something lanky and rubbery crashed into him, sending him sprawling to the floor.

"Shishishi. That was fun! Do it again, Ymir!"

The power of the impact was enough to have Levi see stars for a moment, until he realized what happened. That Strawhat Brat just came flying out of nowhere and hit into him. And worse, that guy was now sitting on his back, laughing like the idiot he is.

"Strawhat" Luffy flinched as he heard the low and downright murderous tone coming from beneath his butt. "Get off me within the next few seconds and I might consider _not_ chopping you to pieces. Maim maybe, but not kill."

Luffy was off him the next moment, screaming his head off. "AHHHHH! YMIR! NAMI! ZORO! SHORTY IS SCARY!"

"And this is new to you?" Ymir asked. The freckled girl hasn't changed back ever since the others appeared and was now a sort of climbing frame for the younger scouts. Hanji was frothing at the mouth, scribbling down notes in a crazed fashion.

"Yeah", Jean grinned, "Captain Levi is one scary asshole."

"You forgot to mention he's a freak who loves to clean his place with the tears of his subordinates", Connie added.

"And he only has one facial expression- that of a really grumpy cat", Sasha threw in.

"You realize I can hear you, right?"

"AAAAAAHHHH! YMIR! PROTECT USSSS!"

"Oh nononononono!" the Titan took a step back. "Leave my ass out of that. Captain Shorty devours Titans like me for breakfast."

"Then it's a good thing I don't antagonized you guys any more, right?" the tall Female Titan asked. "Like doing something stupid like squishing you guys."

"Yeah, I've seen you crush five-meter-classes like they were nothing", Eld replied, "You could've smashed us like bugs."

"Yup. You are hilariously outmatched, it ain't even funny anymore."

"Not anymore", Mikasa threw in while taking a sip from the tea Sanji gave her. "We had great teachers. I could chop you up with no problem."

"Not if I squash you before", the Female Titan gave back, leaning back against the watchtower to balance her tea cup on her knees. It was still a mystery where Sanji got a cup matching her size from.

"Hello? No squashing or chopping here", Eren interrupted, "Save it for the Titans."

"Fine", Mikasa huffed, "But this doesn't mean I have to like her."

"That's the spirit!" The young Shifter grinned. The Female Titan sighed and put her cup down before getting up. That was when Luffy slung over to her and sat on top of the wall, looking at her with bright eyes.

"Nee? Are you going to become my Nakama now?"

"I'm not sure but adventures sound good..." Suddenly she was on her feet, eyes gleaming. "Fuck this! I'm going on an adventure!"

"Huh?" Reiner was the first one to react.

"Yeah! Screw that mission!" The Female Titan explained, "Screw that hairy dude! Screw being a warrior! I am going to be free and do whatever I want to do!"

"But... you do have partners, what about them?" Bertolt asked nervously, "They're going to run amok in the city!"

"Easy. I'm going to tell them to come with me. They're both great guys. I'm sure they'll come too."

"And if they don't want to?"

"Then I'll just punch them until they are coming with me", the Titan replied with a toothy grin. Her voice dropped a few octaves. "They will have fun, whether they'll like it or not." Eren, Bertolt and Reiner scooted off and quickly hid behind Mikasa.

"Huh", the Asian girl agreed, "Sounds like a good plan."

"I'm off then. No offence, but Captain McShorty is making me nervous." The Female Type went to go, but Levi held her back with a barked "Stop right there"

"What now?"

"In case you have forgotten, but you are a Titan Shifter", Levi growled, "Worse even- you could be a traitor. Somebody who will betray the safety of our people."

"If you are looking for amoral assholes, look no further than to your damn king", the Titan gave back. "You're not going to stop me."

"And if I do?"

"Hm" She glared at him, eyes narrowed. Suddenly her head snapped up as she stared at a point somewhere behind the castle. "Is that a Titan Bear?"

Everybody whipped around or dove for cover immediately (Ymir included). "AAAAAH! IT'S A BEAR! QUICK! PLAY DEAD!"

"IDIOTS!" Levi roared over the yelling. "THERE ARE NO TITAN BEARS! THAT WENCH JUST MADE THAT UP!"

"Really?"

"Bloody Hell! Of course!" Humanity's strongest felt his patience thinning as he whipped back around to yell at the Female Titan.

He found her missing.

His eyebrow twitched as he slowly glared at the scouts and pirates. "Are you happy now? She managed to escape."

"Very" Sanji exclaimed, "Oh my wonderful Giant Goddess, nobody will ever imprison you!"

"Hit your head, Dartboard Brow?"

"What was that, Marimo? You wanna die?"

"Tch. As if you could hurt me"

"WANNA TRY?!"

"WITH PLEASURE!"

Levi's eyebrow twitched again as he angrily stalked over to the Beast Titan.

"You better not try anything funny", he snapped, "I don't have any patience left"

"I guess I should be scared then, huh? And start blabbing about my wonderful plan to destroy you humans, right?" The Beast replied. Levi growled angrily, glaring at the Titan. "Well, I'm sorry to tell you that you won't be getting any information from me- Hey! That's really a Titan Bear."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH! THE BEAR IS BACK AGAIN! PLAY DEAD!"

"THERE IS NO TITAN BEAR!"

"Not?"

Humanity's Strongest let out a string of curses. Then he turned back around to interrogate the Beast Titan.

The hole was empty.

The sound of the Captain's hand hitting his face echoed loudly in the courtyard of Castle Utgard.

"Now you did it", he mumbled a while later. "You are officially retards. And I am your king." He marched over to his horse. "If anybody needs me, I'm in my office, drinking myself into oblivion and crying over your imbecility."


	10. In which a hunt is going on

**Author: The original title of this has been 'In which Levi is slowly losing his mind', but then I decided to rename it.  
Beware, One Piece.**

**A lot of One Piece.**

* * *

In which a hunt is going on

"Oh wow. Your Blood Pressure is pretty high, Shorty", Hanji mumbled while jutting down a few notes on her clipboard. She sat at a table, only a short distance away from the shirt- and cravat less Corporal Levi. The inflatable cuff of the pressure gage was wrapped around his wrist- a part of the half-year check up every Soldier had to do.

"Is there something stressing you?" The Scientist questioned.

"'Stressing' is a tad understated", Levi replied coolly. He still retained his normal facade, with the exception of a threatening tone in his low voice. Hanji knew this version of Levi for the most of her life, yet she never knew where the point was when the Short man's temper finally boiled over.

_*CRASH*_

_*RUMBLE*_

_*CRACK*_

"Oops. My bad. Sorry"

"BREAKING THROUGH THE WALL IS NOT TO BE EXCUSED WITH 'SORRY'!"

Hanji hummed in amusement at the muffled exchange that took place somewhere out there. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed her fellow Captain clench his jaws, but otherwise he remained calm.

"Hey, what room is this, anyways?"

"IT'S CORPORAL LEVI'S!"

"Really?"

_*Twitch*_

"Oh. I hope he didn't need that wall then."

Hanji let out a shriek. "Holy Hell, Levi! Your Blood Pressure is through the roof! Cool it, will you?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about", Levi replied, apparently absolutely oblivious. His eyebrow was twitching and his voice was short before cracking, though.

The glassed woman threw the man a look, then sighed out. "You have to learn to deal with those pirates", she advised, "You have to learn that you can't fight this. It's either going down fighting or going with the flow."

"I rather go down fighting", Levi answered defiantly "I am not going to sink to their level."

"Then you're going to give yourself an ulcer", Hanji shrugged. "And if it does- don't you dare come back to me whining about it."

"Deal" Humanity's strongest agreed as he stood up and deftly peeled off the cuff from his arm. "Now if you excuse me", he continued as he put back on his shirt and cravat and headed for the door, "I have to check up on how much damage that idiot Pirate did to my room."

Hanji leaned back and started counting the seconds that went past until... "STRAWHAT! YOU ARE DEAD!"

"AHHHHH! NAMIIII! ZOROOOO! SANJIIIII! HELP MEEEE!"

Hanji let out another sigh before turning to Moblit while the screaming and shouting slowly vanished in the distance. "I'm betting he's either going to blow or rupture a blood vessel in the next three days."

"Two days, max", Moblit replied. He hummed thoughtfully before adding: "Either that or he's going to cause a bloodbath."

-oOo-

Brook sat with Commander Mike at a small table underneath a tree, overlooking the training field while sipping a cup of tea. Brook was composing a new song for his new Nakama and Mike sat next to him, skimming through his newspaper.

Luffy's hand suddenly snatched the tree behind them, seconds later the Pirate Captain collided with the bark. He was briefly confused, but snapped out quickly as he threw a glance back to where he came from.

His eyes widened comically the next moment as he dodged out of the way, moments before Levi pounced on him with his blades. Luffy swung around a low-hanging branch to escape with the Corporal hot on his heels. Mike lifted his head. "Don't play around too long, Levi. There is going to be food in half an hour."

"Keep it warm for me", was the reply, "I want to finish this first."

Mike shrugged and flipped the page.

-oOo-

Nami and Usopp sat in front of a large group of the younger Scouts, telling them about their adventures. Armin's eyes were sparkling when they spoke about the ocean and the wonders of it. Eren and Jean had dreamy expressions when Usopp retold their adventures on Mermaid Island. Ymir gasped when Nami spoke about the battle on the Desert Island of Alabasta. Connie and Christa listened with open mouths as Usopp narrated their adventures on the floating Island of Skypiea. Sasha and Bertolt shivered when they imagined the sheer size of the Island Whales and Sea Kings. Reiner whistled when he heard about the Zombies on Thriller Bark. Mikasa arched her eyebrow when Usopp remembered about the fight on Enies Lobby and the resulting death of their beloved Merry Go. Levi leaned down to get a better look on the wet faces of the younger scouts. "Are you crying over a _boat_?" He questioned, holding Luffy in a headlock.

"Heartless Bastard", Eren whimpered.

"That's not right, I'm a heartless _disgusted _Bastard", the Corporal corrected him, referring to the tears and the snot that covered a large portion of the ground.

_*SQUEAK*  
*SNAP*  
*TAM TAM TAM*_

Levi sighed out, wiping his arm on Bertolt's coat. "Clean that up", he ordered sternly before he chased after Luffy, who managed to squirm out of his hold a few seconds earlier.

-oOo-

Nanaba and Petra threw each other a nervous look, flinching as they heard something break.

"They just took down that fucking tree", they heard Gunther gasp, "Like it was just a stick."

"What are we going to do?" Eld asked.

"Not going anywhere near them", Oluo said firmly, "And maybe find Nami to bring them to their senses."

Nanaba nodded as she turned to go. "I'll go and find her", she claimed. The group jumped startled when an old, abandoned building collapsed under a string of curses and swearwords.

Sanji and Zoro really did not care about their surroundings once they started to fight.

The two broke from the collapsed structure, stopped a few yards away from the others and locked their respective weapons- Sanji with one burning leg wedged firmly against Zoro's blades.

And suddenly, both stopped, heads turned to the side as they heard the screaming of their captain. Luffy dashed towards them, dropped on his knees and slid past them through under the swords. He leapt back to his feet on the other side and continued his mad run.

Not a blink of an eye later, Levi appeared on the scene. Without hesitation, he did a powerful leap, landing both his feet securely in the faces of the two brawlers and catapulted himself off to latch onto a higher building next, chasing after Luffy.

Sanji and Zoro stared at each other in confusion, checking the boot prints on their faces for a good long moment.

"Where have we been?"

"You were being an insufferable asshole."

"Oh, right... TAKE THAT BACK, DARTBOARD BROW!"

"YOU WISH, MARIMO!"

"Nami it is then", Nanaba sighed.

-oOo-

"Thanks for helping me", Erwin said gratefully, "I don't know if I ever managed to put all these files in the correct order."

"That's what friends are for, right?" Chopper beamed at him.

"Yeah, but even Mike and Hanji avoided helping me", the Commander explained, "But ever since my secretary got sick and I got a replacement, I wasn't able to find a damn thing."

"But we've finally finished!" the reindeer exclaimed happily, "And just in time for Lunch, too."

"Let's just put these papers away", the blonde man said as he went to reach for the first stack.

_*CRASH*_

The sound of shattering glass broke the idyllic silence as the lanky form of the Strawhat Pirate flew through the Window. He landed hard on the floor, but managed to get back up quite fast as he desperately tried to cower behind the table as Levi came through the window the next second.

Luffy was screaming as he backed away, trying to keep the table between him and the now angrily snarling Corporal. The two did a few rounds around the room before Luffy finally jumped back out of the window. Levi immediately leapt over the desk and followed him, oblivious to the fact that Erwin's office was pretty much on the upper floor.

The room was left in a state of chaos. Chairs have been turned over, filing cabinets and shelves lay on the ground and the pictures on the walls have been ripped down. The worst thing, however, was that the files were now flying through the room. One settled on top of Erwin's head as the blonde just continued to stare blankly at the broken window.

"Oh no", Chopper wailed, "Now we have to organize them all over again!"

Erwin sat down in a corner and started weeping.

-oOo-

"You're doing a great job", Franky praised a few of the mechanics he was teaching. Most of the men (and women) blushed madly, trying to play it down how much this praise meant to them.

"It appears you are getting the hang out of this", Robin chuckled from where she sat at a small table, reading a book. "After all, once we got back home, you have to repair your gears yourselves."

"Did you find a way to get home?" Franky asked over his shoulder.

"Still working on it", the archaeologist smiled gently, "All Devil Fruit Powers have a loop hole somewhere. The tricky thing is to find it."

"Hey! I did it!" One of the mechanics called out, holding a piece of gear up, "Could you throw a look at it, Franky?"

"I'm over in a sec-" _*SMASH*_

His answer was cut short by a loud crash and screaming, followed by pained groans. Luffy had appeared out of nowhere and landed hard on the unfortunate mechanic. "Ah. Sorry", the boy apologized. "I was in a hurry."

"A hurry? Why that?" Franky wanted to know.

"I kind of..." Luffy suddenly began to stutter, eyes fixed on some point at the horizon and sweat running down his face.

Franky lowered his sunglasses. "I kind of what, Luffy?"

"He kind of broke down my wall, desolating my private room in the process", Levi's cold voice spoke up.

"What he said", the Pirate Captain admitted, head hanging low. A moment later, he realized that the guy he was running from stood next to him, thumb slowly swiping over his blade.

"AHHHHH!"

Luffy immediately started running again, Levi hot on his heels.

The men and women watched them go. Robin chuckled as she turned the page of her book.

"Aww man", the mechanic from before eventually spoke up, "He smashed my gears."

"Don't worry 'bout this", Franky consoled him, "You know, you can always make a new one."

"Yeah, but it would be easier to just revert it, you know?"

Robin's eyes widened.

"Revert!" she suddenly exclaimed, "It has been so easy!"

"Come again?" Franky asked confused.

"That man said his Gate-Gate Fruit allows him to open one-way gates. We can't go back unless we are _reverting _the way we came through first."

"Meaning..."

"Meaning, we have to go through it _backwards_."

Franky blinked. "Robin", he eventually said, "I could kiss you."


	11. In which there are Good-Byes

**Author: Whew. Last Chapter. Thank you for sticking with me for so long.**

**I do hope I didn't make as many grammatical errors as I fear I did.**

* * *

In which there are good-byes

The sun was lazily rising over the horizon. A large group of riders moved along the edge of the canal, following a colourful and somewhat ridiculous sailing ship. Music drifted over to them from the stern and most of the riders sung along to the melody.

The easy atmosphere around them was strange, given the fact they were moving through Titan territory and nobody gave a solid fuck to that. The scouts rode close together, chatting happily among themselves and enjoying the day- with one exception. Levi was somewhat away from them, eyes dark and a scowl on his face.

But that was no wonder. Everybody kept his distance after that _incident_ the day before.

After chasing him through the whole of the headquarters, the Corporal finally managed to catch the Strawhat Pirate Captain. And after that, he punished him in the worst way imaginable. He tied him down, dragged him into the mess hall and forced him to watch him and the others eat their delicious meal. Levi watched his helpless struggles and desperate attempts to free himself with a smile.  
It was a true, genuine smile.  
And that was what scared the others most.

That day they discovered that their Captain had a horrid secret. He was downright _sadistic_.

Mike eventually rode to the front to meet up with him. "There are Titans everywhere", he said quietly.

"I know", Levi replied, "They've been following us ever since we left the Walls." To prove it, he nodded his head into the creature's direction. They stood behind the trees, watching them carefully. They didn't advance towards them, though.

"As long they're keeping their distance, it's okay", Mike mumbled.

"They have been here when the Strawhats appeared first", Erwin noticed, "And they witnessed how easily they slaughtered the other Titans. They are keeping their distance, waiting for a moment to strike."

"Titans capable of learning. Wonderful", Levi grumbled.

"It is!" Hanji exclaimed, "I have to make further tests on that later on. Moblit, take a note that we'll need a Titan to experiment on."

"Franky!" Nami suddenly yelled from the figurehead, "We're there! Turn her around!"

"I'll be SUPER doing that!" the Cyborg Shipwright replied. With a thrust, he chucked the anchor into the canal. The Sunny lurched to the side, spinning gracefully around with the momentum of her speed.

Water was spraying everywhere with the ship's motion, but soon it calmed down again. Luffy was cheering happily, grinning at the scouts.

"Hey, we gotta go now", he began, "And I'm sure you are going to be really sad. But we are friends now, right?" He beamed at them. "And friends are for forever. Even if we never see each other again, we will still be friends!"

"Of course", Eren grinned at him, "I am glad we met you."

"Best three weeks of my life", Jean added. A chorus of cheers and sobs followed, but the overall mood was happy. Even Erwin and Mike were smiling and giving a small wave.

"Shishishi" Luffy laughed. "Franky! Get us through that gate! I have to find that idiot and punch him!"

"Aye aye, Captain!"

There was a hum somewhere and the Sunny's mane began spinning. The wind it whipped up soon pushed the ship back. It stopped for a moment.

And suddenly, the air simply opened up like a massive door.

"...Why is it _creaking_? There aren't any hinges here or anything", Mikasa deadpanned.

"Ooooh! Look! It's a whole new world through there!" Armin whistled, "Is that... is that the _sea_?"

"It's working!" Usopp cheered, "It's really working!"

"Did you doubt Robin-chwan?"

"O-of course not."

The crew was waving happily as the Sunny was pushed further through the air...gate...thingy.

_*WHOMP*_

The door fell shut, echoing loudly through the forest.

-oOo-

"Well", Hanji clapped her hands, "That was that. What now?"

"Defend against Titans, perhaps?" Mike growled, eyes trained on the lumbering creatures. With the Pirates gone, they fell back to their old habits. All of them began moving towards them, intending to devour them right now.

"Oh right. Don't forget, we need one or more alive!" Hanji shouted. The scouts immediately switched back to their old routine, swinging skywards with their Gears to engage the Titans.

A ten-meter aberrant Titan suddenly shot forwards, snatching Levi by his leg and slamming him hard into the ground. It wasn't enough to kill, just enough to make sure who the top predator was.

Levi grunted, hand slamming into the ground to hoist himself up. His glare met the aberrant Titan's eyes.

It was snickering.  
It was fucking _laughing_.

The sound Levi's sanity made as it snapped could clearly be heard at Wall Sina.

-o-

"OH MY GOD!" Petra shrieked, "HE'S-HE'S-!"

"SHIELD YOUR EYES!" Eld shouted terrified, "DON'T LOOK!"

"THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" Gunther yelled, "DEAR GOD- THEY SHOULDN'T BE SEEING THIS!"

"Oh bloody hell", Eren gasped, "Is this real?"

"It is", Mikasa murmured grimly. The scouts stood in the trees, watching the bloody, horrid spectacle down there without a chance of doing anything.

"How?" Mike asked in shock, "How is that possible?"

"Just like that", Erwin replied darkly. "All of you are witnesses."

"Yeah but..." Ymir was struggling to find words, "HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID THE CORPORAL MANAGE TO BEAT A TITAN DEAD?!"

"With its own arm, apparently."

With terrified facial expressions the Scouts watched from their safe place how Humanity's Strongest murdered Titan after Titan in various creative ways. He sliced off limbs, threw smaller Titans as projectiles into larger ones, chopped off heads, bisected creatures or just bluntly killed them with a few really hard punches.

"Holy Hell... I think he is laughing", Armin eventually realized.

"...Yup... He's really laughing" Nanaba agreed, "It sounds really happy, too."

"Okay. He starts singing, and I'm outta here", Oluo mumbled.

"Did any of you see Bertolt or Reiner?" Christa suddenly asked. The scouts looked at each other, then started searching the forest with their eyes.

On the ground, Levi was humming a happy song.

Hanji threw a few coins to Moblit. He looked down at the money and muttered "Actually I never wanted to win that bet."


	12. In which three Titans find a new Home

**Author: Okay, I was lying. This is the last chapter. I want to thank all of you who read and reviewed. I do hope I can find motivation to write more fanfics of this kind, but until then, enjoy this last chapter.  
**

* * *

In which three Titans find a new Home

The sea was calm and after Luffy found and single-handedly beat up Captain Gate's whole crew, the Pirates were at ease once more.

That is, until there was a massive crash somewhere in the storage area. Nami and Usopp were behind their stronger Nakama in an instant, hiding from whatever danger might have lurked there. Robin arched a brow, using her powers to search for the intruder.

"They're in the storage hold. Three of them", she finally answers, "And they're not going to cause trouble, I believe."

"Did you tell them to stay put?" Zoro questioned.

Robin only smiled and shook her head. "I think it would be funnier if you just went down and ask them directly."

The Swordsman cocked his head slightly, wondering just what she meant by that. Nami volunteered to stay up on deck because a storm was coming, but Usopp had no chance to retreat when Luffy grabbed him and dragged him with them. Sanji calmly lit a cigarette and Zoro crunched his knuckles. It wasn't necessary that he beat up the intruders, but it never hurt to be prepared.

There was another crash, followed by a very angry "God damnit, you stupid moose! Be a bit more careful next time!"

"I heard the voice of an angel!" Sanji sang, "I hope the intruder is a beautiful mermaid who got lost!" He danced past the other three and opened the door to the storage room. "Don't worry, my beautiful lady I came to- huh?"

He frowned at the lanky young man who was sprawled over a fallen crate. "Who are you?"

"Ah- Sorry Sir", the young man replied, "I was in the Scouting Legion. Bertolt Hoover?"

"Scouting?" Zoro asked, "You stowed away on our ship? Why?"

"Because I asked him", the female voice spoke up. The short blonde girl, Annie, appeared from the storage, looking challenging at Zoro. Reiner was number three. He rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"Oh?" Luffy asked, "Why did you hide on our ship?"

"You already forgot? I thought you wanted me to be your Nakama."

"Ah right", the rubber Pirate remembered. A wide grin split his face as he whipped back towards Sanji. "Sanji! I want meat! We have to celebrate our new Nakama!"

"Of course", the chef sang when he whirled out of the room, "I will prepare a nice meal for my new angel!"

He zipped towards the exit. The three teens slowly left their hide-out and followed after the Pirates.

They walked back to the deck, where the other Strawhat Pirates looked at them in confusion. Robin smiled.

"Attention!" Luffy called out, "We have new Nakama!"

"It's nice to meet you", Reiner grinned at them. "I'm Reiner. The tall dude is Bertolt and the little Lady is Annie! We'll be your crewmates from now on."

"Cool!" Chopper squealed.

"SUPER!" Franky cheered.

"May I see your Panties?" Brook asked, seconds before the short blonde girl punched him hard enough to send him into the railing.

"Very well", Nami growled, hands on her hip, "You can stay, but I hope to dear god that you are no damn leeches." She paused. "Of course, if you are, you have to pay for every day you stay here."

"Don't worry", Annie replied calmly, "We are strong fighters. We won't go down easily."

"Yeah!" Luffy chimed in, grinning over his ears. "Annie is the giant perverted Lady we met in that forest!"

Sanji returned just in time to hear what his captain just said. Seconds later, the chef was on the floor, unconscious from the massive explosion of blood from his nose. Chopper was fretting over him.

"Titan", Reiner corrected the Captain, "Not 'perverted Giants', okay?" He slung his arm around the other teen. "We're Titans too", he explained, "And we really want to have some adventures!"

"Shishishi", Luffy laughed, "Let's party!"

"YAY!" Chopper and Usopp cheered.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"Uh... guys?" Bertolt asked, "I think somebody is crying."

"Huh?" The pirates went into the galley. The Den-Den Mushi sat on the table top, crying its eyes out of their stalks.

"Your snail... is crying", Annie deadpanned.

"I wonder why?" Luffy wanted to know, "Maybe it got an upset stomach?"

"It is an emergency signal", Franky realized, "Somebody is in trouble."

"What? So if I answer, we know who it is?"

"Wait, Luffy!" Robin threw in, "There is a pretty large chance that this signal has been forged by the Marine! It is a well-known tactic they use, if you answer they can tap into the signal and discover our location."

"That's our Robin", Usopp tried to reason, "Let's be careful now, right?"

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy, the Man who will become pirate King! Who is there?!"

"IDIOT!" Usopp and Reiner shrieked.

"HELP MEEEEEE!" The Snail wailed, drawing the attention. "AAAAH! IT'S SO COLD! IS THAT YOU, BOSS?"

"No! I'm not your boss! Is it cold there?" Luffy wanted to know.

"THE CREW- THEY KEEP GETTING KILLED ONE AFTER ANOTHER! THEY KEEP GETTING KILLED BY A SAMURAI!"

The Crew traded startled glances. "Hey!" Luffy shouted, "What's your name?"

"I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE!" The snail sobbed, "PLEASE, JUST COME AND HELP ME!"

"Where are you?" Luffy asked again.

"I-I'M ON PUNK HAZARD!"


End file.
